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Re: Teens Drinking
Jul 18, 2005
Hi Heartland & all :wave: Wow...what a weekend Goody had!!! I think that I am begiinning to come full circle with balancing marriage, parenting and friendships...in fact I am convinced of that.

This weekend we finally had our "Big Chill" weekend with our closest friends. The baby of the 10 of us was turning forty and it was a significant milestone for us. While it celebrated her coming of age it also celebrated our common threads as parents, friends and couples. Tom had carved the way 9 years ago and the closure to a 4th decade in each of our lives was now upon us.

We had been planning a weekend with just the adults for what seems like forever but could never seem to come up with one that would allow everyone to be together. And finally it came :bouncing: And it was an experience that brought us all so much closer together.

A van had been rented that would accommodate us all. Everyone drove out to our summerhouse where we started our journey together. There was drinking and laughing......Tom & I as hosts welcomed everyone and I commented on how W., the birthday girl was the perfect one to give us reason enough to have a "Big Chill" weekend because she was the one that we could chill out the most with. I asked everyone to raise their glasses for a toast and shared with everyone how W. was all heart and how once I had called upon her in my time of need and she was there in a hurry. She dropped all that she was doing and came to my house. I cried for what seemed like hours and she stayed with me as my friend and comforted me. I told everyone that she was the first and only person that told me that I was beautiful even when I cried. We hugged with tears and that was the first of many toasts that evening. I had an opening ceremony in which we drew straws for sleeping arrangements. I expressed how I wanted to offer what I call the "Sunshine Room" (E.'s Room) to W. since it was her birthday and that she was our sunshine. The other rooms that I named just in honor of this first occasion of filling them with friends were quickly assigned...the Dolphin Room (K.'s room), the Carribean Room, the jackpot which was a pullout couch in a loft area and of course Tom & I were not going to give up what we refer to as the Paradise Room. :D

Soon it was time to head out to an Italian Restaurant where W.'s oldest son waits at. This was a surprise for W. We piled into the van in which we had wine and beers awaiting. Of course we had a designated driver. We partyed and I must say that there came the moment in my life where I made a decision that I thought I would be more upset in making it than I actually felt.. A joint was being passed around and I had never smoked before. W. had been presented with a Coach purse as a present that was stocked with some weed. Somewhere when we had first started out I decided that perhaps it was time to try it....and I announced that in honor of W.'s birthday the only virgin smoker in the van would give it a try. Well the cheers went and my closest friends held my hand and told me what to do...Tom was overprotective I asked him if he would be disappointed or upset if I did and he reassurred me that he wouldn't. Heartland, I don't even know what possessed me to smoke after not ever doing so but I came to understand soon enough. ;)

I choked and burned my throat on the first puff....and did two more. I commented on how it didn't do a thing for me and everybody laughed and protectively Tom told me to hold off from anymore. By the time we reached the restaurant I was okay but suddenly out of no where I was talking to Steve, our friend who was driving, I turned to talk to W. behind me and then to continue my conversation with Steve who was replaced by a Hispanic image of himself (the valet parker). Well......I couldn't stop laughing....I asked who he was and he said "Enrique" and I asked him what he did with Steve??? Well, W. at this time was refusing to get out of the van....she was awfully upset with her husband for even thinking of bringing her high to a restaurant her son was working at. I was hysterieally laughing at Enrique as was another friend who was laughing at me. But....my "friend mode" kicked into high gear and I looked at W. and told her that I understood her hesitation in going into the restaurant, that her son and husband had gone through an awful lot of trouble to make this night special for her and that she had to now get past the thought of being a mother to her son but his equal. I reasssurred her that he understood more about life than she would like to know, that he was 19 and knew that she was not as perfect as she would like him to think she was and that I had recently come to the realization that this was perfectly okay with our children. I reminded her that we were now at a crsosroads in our childrens lives and that her son would see that his mom had cool friends who were celebrating her 40th birthday with her. I told everyone to head into the restaurant and that I would take W. for a walk while she had a cigarette and get her in ASAP.

As it turned out....the evening was a huge success, I'll never forget the feeling of making it to & from the bathroom without falling on my face....I refer to it as "The Green Mile" and just all the love and friendship we shared in the entire experience. It was our roadtrip and as I wondered why I had given in to smoking my first joint after almost 46 years it hit me that I did so out of friendship and also it allowed me another opportunity to firsthand know what I could do in terms of offereing my girls advice from having experienced it. My friends told me that it was amazing how I handled it and that it was a gift to them in sharing in my first time. Funny, how I thought that I would feel ashamed but I felt human and more bonded in terms of friendships, marriage and parenting. Tom had my water nearby and kept me from overdoing things, my friends supported me in that as well and made a toast in my honor and my girls will have the same mom who is human and now has some experience regarding smoking a joint. I can definitely say that it has it's aphrodesiac effects....and I wouldn't want my girls placed in that situation before they may be ready. That is what I want to share the most with them.

I know that you will probably be smiling about this whole expereince...I'm probably the only friend you have that would save her college partying until she's in her 40's but it was definitely a growing experience. Will I smoke again....I really don't know. It was something I hold no regrets about and know that I will act responsibly with. Who knows.....but I will be honest with my girls if the time should ever arise. Of that much I am sure.

Thought you would get a kick out of all of this. K. has called a few times, we have had great conversations and she even suggested that she fly home for my birthday and to see E. in her first big solo!!! Yes, E.'s big break finally came through and I want to make a big thing about it. So, K. coming up with the idea all by herself was wonderful!!!

Hope all is well with you. I have PT in a few minutes 10am and then need to get E. to theatre practice. Will be back by noon and check in because I think you may have some news for me too!!!

(((HUGS))) ~ Goody :wave:





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