It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Parenting Issues Message Board


Parenting Issues Board Index


Re: Teens Drinking
May 30, 2005
Heartland & all ~ Okay....Goody just went through the next steep, scary and awful drop on the rollercoaster ride and I am still recovering from this big drop :eek: I guess I could use some affiirmation and support......I am really having a difficult time after this part of the attraction at "Goody's Great Adventure"

Okay....we were heading out East for long Memorial Weekend family getaway and agreed that K. would be left behind to spend the night at a friend's house so that she could attend one of her best friend's surprise birthday parties. We cleared things with her friend's mom (who is one of our fab four friends) where she would be spending the night to make sure everything was in order. The plan was that K. would be home Friday from 2pm-6pm working on a big English portfolio that was due Tuesday, would be picked up by her friend's mom to go to the party from 6:30-11:30pm and get a ride home with her friend where she would spend the night and then be dropped back to our house in the morning to work further on her portfolio and be picked up by Tom later in the afternoon to finish out the weekend with us. Just before leaving I went over K.'s itinerary to make sure I had all the facts right and my last reminder was...."And you know that when we are not here there is not to be anyone in our house, understood???" She stated, "Yes, mom" as she rolled her eyes indicating that I was repeating something that she was already well aware of.

So we hit the road with our younger daughter & dog. Upon our arrival to our summerhome, I went for my keys noticing that some were missing and the main key to my car that was left home was so obviously separated from the keychain. A big "red flag" went up and I called my next door neighbor (who's daughter was also attending the same party as K.) and alerted her of my suspisions that K. may be taking my car for a joy ride & to be on the lookout. I also contacted my friends whose house K. would be spending the night. At about 10pm we received a phone call from our next door neighbor alerting us to the fact that there was all kinds of noise and commotion coming from our house. Her & her husband walked next door to all kinds of kids leaving and packing up their cars with about 20 more in the house. Yes....K. decided to have an open house party at our house hosting it after her friend's birthday party. Well as it turned out what started out as a party for 20 soon became a party for 80 :eek: Tom & I were beside ourselves....we give K. trust and each time we do she screws herself!!!! My neighbor gave me a play by play description of what she was seeing over the phone and as soon as she located K. she put me on with her & all I said is...."K. .....you have just brought yourself to the first rung in terms of the ladder of trust with your dad & I!!!! Your father is on his way to get you, collect your portfolio materials & be ready." My friend got back on & told me that the house was in order and that she had just told K.'s friend, who she was suppose to spend the night with, & her 17 year old brother & 2 friends to "get the F*** out of the house & go home!!!!!" I hung up and alerted my other friend that K. would not be spending the night as planned with a quick detail of events and to get in touch with their daughter who was scared off by my next door neighbor. He told me that he had been by 1/2 hour earlier & discovered the party and broke it up telling everybody that they better get the house in order within 15 minutes and go home or her would call the authorities. He left & sent his 17 year old son & 2 friends to follow through (the same guys my next door neighbor scared off :eek: ) Apparently the commotion my next door neighbor heard was the party being broken up by my friend, who BTW, so happens to be a probation officer.

Tom leaves with instructions from me to not even say a single word to K. on the long drive back. I thought it was time that K. learned to hear the disappointment of her parents through silence and when she returned she was sniffling and had been crying. I asked her for her cell phone and Tom told her to go to bed & to set her alarm for 9am and report to him for work duty. I asked Tom what he had said that had her crying....he said that he said absolutely nothing as instructed.

Saturday she spent shoveling sand in a wheelbarrow and filling in underneath the bulkhead to support the wall that Tom had just replaced. Later in the day K. said that she was sorry for what she had done and that she felt that she had handled things rather responsibly. She explained that she had planned the event and took care of preparing so that our home would not sustain any damage. She explained how she had locked all valuables away so that they wouldn't disappear & that she had locked the rooms that people couldn't go in and had even hid my laptop and placed all breakables, knives & even dad's BB gun away out of anyones reach and had covered all our furniture with sheets in case of spills. She went on to try to convince me that while what she had done was wrong, she had acted responsibly about the entire thing. She said that it did get out of hand when drobes of people had arrived that she hadn't even invited but that all was under control because she asked her guy friends to act as bouncers and keep things under control. I listened and cringed at all that I was hearing, one girl getting drunk and screaming out on our front lawn and how K. & the bouncers got her safely into the house before the police could be called. I heard her out and I then told her that it didn't change anything in terms of our trust and that what she had done was not only wrong but something that we clearly told her not to do by reminding her that she was not to have anyone over while we were not home. We also told her how we could have had damage to a home we had worked forever on making a nice home, that when people get drunk they can cause severe damage and that if anyone had gotten hurt on our premises that we would have been held liable and that also we could be arrested if the police were brought in. She went on to say that she checked it all out and that police would need a warrant to enter the house & that we wouldn't be in trouble because we were not there serving alcohol to minors.

Heartland ~ I was nauseated by her retorts....the more she excused her actions the more I worried and felt ill. I pointed out to her that she was looking for as many opportunities to do things wrong just shy of breaking the law but that one of these times it wouldn't be Tom or I catching her but the law and that if she kept things up that it wouldn't be long before she found herself in jail behind bars with a record that would follow her into her future....the future that we only wanted good for her. I finally told her that I was soooo disapointed in how very little respect she had for her parents to open up our home in such a way and dismiss all the possible consequences including the fact that at any given time, one of these people that had been invited into our home by her could return and rob us blind!!!

She went back to work and later on she told me that if we were going to punish her that it would not work because we were already too strict & that things needed to change in the sense that she should be able to come to us like alot of her friends are able to with their parents and say that she is going to a party that will have alcohol, there will be no parents there and that she would like to go. She explained that one of her friends who was a boy told his dad that he was going to our house, there would be no parents home, there would be alcohol and that he also would be spending the night!!! Yes.....K. told us that her plan was to have everyone spend the night so that no one would go home driving after drinking.....she had all bases covered :eek: What do we do with her, my friend????

(To Be Continued......Goody)





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:18 PM.





© 2021 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!