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Parenting Issues Message Board

Parenting Issues Board Index

Nov 29, 2004
I am at my wits end with my 17 year old daughter. We had to make a major move and I understand what a crappy time in her life it was to do it, but there was no choice. We had a great relationship until this move and her meeting a boy right before didnt help either.

Shes an A student, has a part time job and has gone from being responsible and trustworthy to sneaking, lying and having no respect for me or anyone else in the house. She has turned into someone I do not know or like very much at all.

I tried everything in my power to not move and it just was not to be. I allowed her bf to even drive my car up here and to visit and her other friends have been here to visit also. We moved 21 hours away from where we were. I have bent over backward trying to make the best of this for her because I KNOW it sucks to move in your senior year of high school but she refuses to see what we have done and just tells me how much she hates me and cant wait to turn 18, move out and never have anything to do with me again.

Her bf was just up for a visit but did not stay in our house since when he did before they broke all the rules. He is 20. I found out they were sneaking around when he was here, not where they were supposed to be and she has been grounded from the computer and phone since he left. She has been sneaking the phone and I caught her tonight! She refused to make new friends here and only goes to school and work, then wants to spend all her time on the phone with him.

He is planning on moving up here which scares me to death, but I sure as hell cant stop him since he is of age, tho I can stop her. I cant believe my wonderful daughter turned into this person. I dont know what to do since she plays on my guilt from the move. I am afraid to really push the "control" card that that will drive her to do soemthing really stupid since she is acting so out of charactor! She used to be very open and we could talk about anything, I NEVER had reason NOT to trust her before. She was always where she was supposed to be, always home by curfew, always called when I told her to, etc. Not its like she enjoys being a sneaky, disrespectful little snot!

I know she is angry with me about the move and I feel she is entitled to these feeling. BUT, what she is not entitled to is treating me, her stepfather and brothers with such utter disrespect but I cant get that point across to her! I have tried being nice and understanding which didnt work, I have tried being a ***** which also is not working.

I KNOW I am the parent and she needs to follow my "stupid" rules but she is pushing and I dont know what else to take away! I also know my guilt over the move is MY problem and I have to stop allowing her to play on it. I also am very afraid she will leave at 18 and never talk to me again which breaks my heart.

Any advice is appreciated. HELP

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