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Parenting Issues Message Board


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Re: Help
Nov 30, 2004
Yes...a BF can really add fuel to a fire. :eek: You say you have family where you are...are they supportive and does your daughter have a good relationship with them??? I only ask in case she needs someone to go to for advice/support so long as she's taking everything out on you. You must remember....when we are hurting we always seem to take it out on those we love most. She sounds like she's just plain old angry and granted she's not treating you like you shoukd be treated...I have found that during those volitile times it's best to be calm (even though your insides are screaming) and come up with a statement that says short and sweet that you will not tolerate her behavior....something like, "I will be happy to continue this conversation when you treat me or speak to me in the manner I deserve to be spoken to," and then just walk away. Refrain from any frther conversation....I know it'll be difficult but I have labeled my daughter's outbursts as TTT's (teenage temper tantrums) and have said, "Oh I see you're having another one of your TTT's. I'll be in the kitchen when you're through." I know, Justme, that what these girls say can really cut like a knife & I have gone plenty a night to bed in tears over some of the things that my daughter has said to me. I even got to a point tht every time she said something hurtful to me I would say "OUCH" just to remind her how it hurt as much as her physically punching me. I use these tactics and they help but somehow teenagers are equipped with EMP (Extramanipulatoryperception) which wears you down and leaves yo emotionally exhausted. No....you are not alone....I am there too, and I count the days until it is over. Don't get me wrong....like the pain we went through pushing them out into the world..this will all be a blur before we know it....so I've been told ;) So let's hold hands together and know that when we have the support of others....things like this are so much easier :angel: :angel: ......Hope you feel a little better...your daughter is spreading her wings and wanting to fly....it would be nicer if she would not knock you over in the process but when she finally takes flight with all that you have taught her you will be proud and see that in the end it was all worth it. And I will too.....Goody :wave:





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