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Parenting Issues Message Board

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Hi there - sounds like you are having a hard time. First off I would not elimate the nap. A child needs a nap until they are 4 years old or they will not function during the day. This may make them crash at night but it is not good for them and it probabally will not work when they get older. That being said I am going to give you great advice without letting baby cry it out. I do not belive in that.

To start you should pick a bed time for your baby. Stick to that no matter what. Give or take 15 minutes or so. Do your bedtime ritual evertime the exact same way everynight. Then lay baby in the crib and stay there. You can either sit on the floor and look the other way using encouraging words. Or you could pat babys back and say shhhh. If baby keeps standing up; matter of factly lay them back down. Just do the same thing each time. Now your baby will cry. Having your baby cry when you are there being supportive is not letting them cry it out. Helping baby sleep will cause a baby to cry. You have two options. 1) Be there, offer support 2) say it is to hard, and make baby deal with it on their own. I have suggested that moms use this to get their babies to sleep and some say that "it is to hard and cannot sit there and see my baby cry like that". So they decide that the baby should do this on thier own and they leave the room and take a shower so they can't hear baby. Great parents. Parenting is hard, deal with it. (Anyway sorry about the tanget. :) ) Now this will take a long time - possibly 2 hours until they fall asleep. Don't at any time give in. If you do it will be confusing to baby and you will be at square one. What you are saying to the baby is that it is nighttime and nighttime is for sleeping, I will be here to support you. Once they fall asleep you can leave the room. If they wake up, go back in and do the same thing. This time it will be shorter. Everytime you do this the time should get shorter until you only have to be with baby a few minutes of non crying before they fall asleep. If they wake, you will only have to go in and say shhh and they will fall back to sleep. The only reason this would not work is if you are not consistant. Do not give in. Psych your self up before you begin. There will be times you really want to give up - don't. You are stronger than you think. Once you do it one time you will be empowered to do it again and again. It should not take any longer than a week (only a couple of days of the really hard part). I know a week sounds like a long time but it beats a year of what you are dealing with now. This I do not beleive will hurt your baby. He is just crying to let you know that this is not the way we do things mom I don't know whats up. Your just showing him how to sleep. I know how hard it is to have a 16 month old mine is having a little temper tantrum on the floor right now because he got the nail clippers and I had to take them. I tried to substitute an equally exciting object but aparently he has decided they are not equally exciting. he he

Good luck

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