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Parenting Issues Message Board

Parenting Issues Board Index

You are not a bad mother! My second child was more of a fussier, whinier baby than my first (who was a complete angel!) My second child is now 19 months and does not sleep through the night, is grouchy and temperamental, and nothing seems to please him but what he wants. I think it is great that you are stating your feelings. So many times in society, moms are pressured to not feel this way, and you are not allowed to not "like" your children. ANd if you even have the slightest bit of depression, you must get on the latest anti-depressants, just so you can deal with being a mom. Well, sometimes being a mom is hard and tough and you do feel alone, but I think it is marvelous that you are recognizing and voicing how you feel. And it is okay that you feel this way. I stopped punishing myself for thinking I was a bad mom because I was glad when my son went to sleep and wondering when I could put him down for a nap again. As far as the colic, I can not help you there, but for you, express fully to your husband how you feel and tell him you need his help (men like to help and have all the answers) and if you could just have an hour to yourself each day, and you do the same for him when you can start feeling better. Explain post partum depression to him and work through it together. This helped me and my husband. Once he seemed to understand how I was truly feeling, and me not screaming it at him, he has been a wonderful help and he can now recognize when I am getting to my wits end with my son. I hope you can find a support group, or mothers day out or find someone in your church or circle of friends that can give you a break, if your husband can not. To help me get out of my depression, I did something nice for myself. Whether it was buying a chocolate bar and lying on the couch and eating it when the kids are down, to putting on makeup and fixing my hair for no good reason. And belive me, there were times I wouldn;t even shower for a week...I felt like what was the point. You and your husband need to also find, rather quickly, a sitter and have date night. It sounds redundant and cliche, but it helps so much!!!! Please keep us posted on how you are doing, and know that you are not alone, and YOU ARE NORMAL! Being depressed is okay, it is your body's way of healing itself!

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