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OH, littlegal, count me in with the others......

I'm too a step mom, well I consider myself a step mom. I live with my boyfriend who has three children. I have been with him for 6 years and living together for 5. Boy can I share stories with you....

How old is your step-daughter? When I came into this relationship - my stepdaughter was 8. Her mother Manipulated the girl regarding her visits to our home. She encouraged the girl NOT TO COME OVER, no sleep overs...She told so many lies that she believed her own stories. WE didn't understand why the girl would not come to visit, why she was scared of her dad, why, why, why, It was like fighting a battle we didn't know we were in.
But, "SHE", always maintained she encouraged the children to visit their dad.

Everything has come to a complete blow this past year and the last few months....Now that the girl is 15, she has SEEN, Witnessed, Heard, all on her OWN what her mother has been doing all these years, her attempt to keep her away from not only me but her father....

Like you - I tolorated this woman for the sake of the children. Her fake smiles, her Exaggerated stories why the children could not come over. I always maintained my calmness with her....I actually beleived some of them.

One thing I "DID" know was.....When the children got older, they would see for themselves we were never the enemy. the TRUTH will always come out.

Sure enough, it's gotten so bad that the daughter was in a constant battle with her mother to visit her dad, she threatened to go to court to come live with us. She stood up for not only herself but her father, told her mother she was going to live with her dad and there was not a damn thing mother could do about it.

I don't want to offend any mothers out there, my goal was never ever to take away a daughter from her mother. It's been about a girl visiting her father and having a loving relationship. The marriage was dissolved in divorce but the children and parents did not get divorce...

I was not a threat to the mother, as I'm sure you are not a threat to the mother, but it's the mother who feels threaten for your kindness of accepting your husband's daughter into your life and loving her as if she was your own.
hello everyone,
Thanks for everyone's reply back. I'm glad to see alot of people responding to this. I understand the bio mom's side. I understand she is the "real" mother, but she doesn't act it at times. She doesn't have a close relationship with her daughter until NOW since the court date is coming up in a few months. The father is fighting for custody and the mother is putting on some BIG show now. She gives the child anything she wants and she is just now starting to be kind with us. I don't know if it'll continue after the court makes their mind!!! Anyway.... since it was Mother's Day - Happy Mother's Day to everyone. They say being a mother is hard, but I truly believe that a step-mother has it even harder!! I love them both but did not realize the Bullsh#$ I would have to go through!!! Everyone says to let the Bio dad handle things between the bio mom. There is times that he can't be there and that leaves the step mom there to handle. I don't have children of my own and I love this child so much that it hurts when I have to hide my feelings at times. When she is at our home, I show her all my love and affection - then her mom comes around - the child leans away from me and I'm afraid to show my feelings or the child gets upset. She is unsure what mommy would say if she loved all over me - I'm sure that's most of her behavior. What is it about the parents telling their child they have a bad attitude when they come back from the other parent's home?? I've read so many times on post before and now the child said that her mom yells at her because she has a bad attitude when she leaves our home. I don't understand that yet!! Please advise!!

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