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Parenting Issues Message Board

Parenting Issues Board Index

First I do not think it was a bad habit to have your baby sleep with you. It was a wonderful experience for both of you. Now you are ready to have your baby sleep in her crib. You have to do this slowly. You would not throw your baby in the pool and say sink or swim. Putting her in a crib and leaving her there to cry could be really scary for her. Plus letting her cry for an hour and then giving up and getting her is not fair to her. Talk about mixed signals. Now I am not trying to get on you, just let you know you should not do this. :nono: If you feel like you need to use the CIO method I would recomend getting the Ferber book and following his consistant plan. I do not recomend the CIO approach BTW :) I think it is traumatizing but that's my opinion. Anyway, I would get your daughter used to being in her crib. Have her play in it during the day for short periods of time. Start having her play when you are in the room with her. Then slowly leave for short periods of time. She will start to get more comfortable with the crib. Then start putting her in it when you put her down for the night. What time does she go to bed? My son went down at 7 at that age. You mentioned that she will not go to bed on her own - does that mean she goes to bed at the same time as you? That's a bit late for a baby or do you prentend like you are going to bed until she falls asleep and then you quietly leave? I would recomend you rocking your DD to sleep at night and then placing her to sleep in her crib. She might wake within an hour or so, then bring her into bed with you. At least she will be sleeping in her crib for a couple of hours. Then start having her sleep longer in her crib. When she wakes either pat her back until she falls back to sleep or pick her up and rock her back to sleep. I did the first one when my DS was that age. Sometimes it would take 1 hour or so to have him fall back to sleep but then he did. Never give up or you are teaching them to cry to get you to do something. They will learn that they just have to keep crying and mom will finally give up. Just be there for her and pat her back and say "shhhh it's ok it's night night time" over and over. Don't look her in the eyes either. Just look to the side. If you don't want to do this all night bring her into bed with you in the morning. Eventually, if you keep at it, the time she spends in the crib will get longer and longer. My DS still sleeps in his crib next to our bed and he is 19 months. I found it to be the best sleeping arangement. When he woke at that age I would just pat and shush him and I would not have to get out of bed. Because I would do it for awhile sometimes that was nice. I also rocked him to sleep at bedtime and naptime. I used to rock him to sleep at bedtime and then if he woke during the night I would pat and not take him out. This was from 8-9 months on. For naps I would rock him to sleep and then place him in his crib. For months he would only sleep for 15-20 minutes but it eventually got longer and longer. He now takes naps for 3 or more hours everyday at the same time. Consistancy is key. All of this is really hard on mom. Your efforts will pay off in having a toddler with great sleep habits. A great sleeping toddler is because of the parents efforts IMO. Everytime you get her to sleep in her crib (even for 5 minutes) you will be that much closer to her sleeping there all of the time, and you can give yourself a big pat on the back. I still say that being consitant, being there for him and teaching my son how to sleep was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. It is easier to leave the room and let them cry. It's putting the whole burdon onto them. It hard to be there with them and hear them cry. If you are there for her, to help her through it, she will not be traumatized by the whole process. No offense to those who let their babies CIO, I know you did what you thought best, and that's all we can do as moms. :angel: What we think is best.

The best of luck, you have a hard road ahead, but you WILL get through it - all the stronger.

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