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Parenting Issues Message Board


Parenting Issues Board Index


Again, I need to speak up for the bio mom's here. I have phsyical custody of my daughter. Her father married very quickly after our breakup. He has not been consistant in his visiting (he lives in another state) and never calls to check in on her in any way.

On one ocassion my daughter went to visit him for a week in the state that he lives in. I called every night. Here is the reason .. it had nothing to do with him at all .. I'm glad he has married .. I hope he is happy .. but for her .. she needs to know that every night before bed I thought of her .. every night she knew mommy loves her and told her to have good dreams.

Calling often may have nothing to do with you at all .. and everything to do with letting the child know that the bio mom is thinking of them and loves them and is still their mom even if they arent in the same house.

I'm not saying that bio mom isn't trying to fish in your lives .. she very well may be .. but try and see it from her eyes. That child is her special person .. regardless of where they live. I say talk to the mom. Make a routine out of it .. say everyday before bed and once before school to say have a good day or something she can call.

Make it a routine so that BOTH of you (step and bio mom) are involved .. and the child is getting the attention from all the parents. It is hard to make it work on your end ... and trust me it is hard from her end too. You have 18 years of this .... try and come up with a plan that works for everyone, most of all the child.





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