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Parenting Issues Message Board

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HA!HA!HA! LOL. I laughed hysterically when I saw the title of your post. I knew exactly what your post was going to say before I even read it. I could have written the exact same post about my 8 year old (only I could have posted it when he was 5). My son has and answer for everything and I keep saying he will be a lawyer someday, because only a lawyer could make a case for either side of an argument :dizzy: .

I have tried spanking, kneeling on the floor for a time out (he will play around in there forever even though he knows he would be able to get out in a matter of minutes if he just knelt there quietly), sending him to his room, talking until I am blue in the face :( (while he makes up smart remarks), taken everything from his room but his bed and dressers, made him write lines....
you get the picture. He does the punishments without much argument, but he comes out and continues to drive me crazy.

Both of my children repeat things over and over. They are given a look, then a warning, then a punishment if they continue with the behavior. They always seem so stunned :confused: to be punished even though I always follow through and the routine is always the same.

I once told my son (my daughter too as a matter-of-fact) that if he didn't clean his room he would not get an allowance. He said "okay then, I won't clean it then"(when I was a kid I needed my allowance to buy the only bag of chips and pop I would get for the entire week. We have that stuff in the house and although it is a treat he doesn't value his allowance the same way I did). He had called my bluff and caught me, at that point I was so angry :mad: that I made him clean his room without an allowance!

I think that it is both a plea for attention and to see if he can pit my husband and I against each other. My husband will often tell me (in front of the children) that I am being too hard on them and sometimes he will "revoke" the punishment. This drives me nuts as by the time he gets home from work I have already been pushed over the edge :blob_fire . After a couple of hours they drive him crazy as well and we are back on the same page. I think he forgets that by the time he gets home the kids have already been at each other and me for 2 hours (they only drive me crazy when they are together which is usually after my son comes home from school).

Alot of it has to do attention, but I find that it is not so much that the kids want my attention so much as they don't want me giving it to anyone else. When either of my children are alone (at home) with me, they are totally different children. When they are together they are always competing with each other. Both of my children become rude and aggressive with each other when I am talking to someone. My daughter is constantly talking :wave: to me while others are talking and I often have to send her to her room so I can finish a conversation. Both children completely lose there minds when we go to the in-laws, but my daughter is especially bad as she will talk back, give dirty looks, become combative and is just plain nasty. But if it is just the kids with their grandparents they are fine. I don't think they like the fact that the attention is directed at someone else (not so much that the attention is directed away from them...if that makes any sense). Kind of like, if no one is getting attention (no I don;t ignore them all day :D )they are fine, but if someone is getting attention it had better be them (and only one or the other too!). People will say that they need more positive attention but mine always argue with me when I tell them something positive (I guess you might say it's like a lawyer who knows his client is guilty but argues his innocence!LOL).

Let me know if you find something that works! Good Luck

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