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Parenting Issues Message Board


Parenting Issues Board Index


Dazed and Confused~ Aren't you being a hippocrate? You stated in your post: "[I]how can you judge another parent because their children are not behaved..these children will learn eventually..they wont grow up hard tickets...some do..mind u...but kids r kids...if u believe that yelling and spanking a child is beneficial to them..its not...so dont judge an apple before its picked " [/I] How about having a conversation about something serious without comparing humans with animals? They are two very different topics here. I'm pretty sure we are not talking to parents who are using spanking in excess here. I'm sure they are not treating their children like animals. What would the difference be between a swat on the hand verses a swat on the bum anyway? (whether its bare bum or not) A swat is a swat..is it not? Like everyone has been stating on this thread...They do what works "miracles" for them. Whats good for you IS NOT good for someone else. I also wouldn't assume that us spanking parents are taking out our frustrations out on our kids. Not to say it doesn't happen and in that case I believe it is wrong to strike a child out of pure anger. Were its your right to have an oppinion, I am tired of people saying that kids who are spanked grow up "In Fear" of their parents.Or they are not respectful or become violent themselves. This thread is not about "abuse" this thread is about giving swats on the bum. Or the hand. Which I don't see the difference. Hand,bum,hand...the kid is going to feel a sting no matter what right? Its great that you can use the 1-2-3 method. Somedays that works for my nearly 3 year old. Some days not. When my dd is completly out of her mind running around like a lunatic...a good swat on the bum brings her back down to Earth. My dd is VERY intelligent. She loves me and daddy very much. We give her just as much praise for good behavior then we do bad behavior. We follow through with our punishments. We talk with her about her behavior(in sentences fit for her age, intelligence,mood) Discipline is constantly changing. In my house, the same punishment does not work well all the time. In your house it might. And no you did not offend me but your words...and I hope no one else was offended. Because we are all trying to do the same thing, at least on this thread...raise our children the best way we can.Most of these parents I'm sure don't just give their kids a smack and don't explain why they are getting in trouble. Spanking is a form of discipline and to be used in the right way. I can give some examples of how time outs in a corner can go bad if done in an extreme way. Abuse is abuse. A swat is a swat and there is a FINE line between the two. This thread is not to make anyone feel bad about their parenting skills..its to comfort and lend an unbiased ear. All forms of discipline take time, energy and patience...if they are doing it right. You may not have meant to sound judgmental but you did.I know I come here for advice or to learn other methods..new methods that are not very popular...like the one in the post before yours...Pushups...thats really cute...and healthy...for the age appropriate child. We should be swapping ideas not telling each other how our kids are going to grow up messed up because they got spanked. Or they go to bed sad because mommy or daddy hit them...I don't want to sound rude...but, you really have no idea what is going on in these parents worlds to be making claims such as you did..." If you believe yellin and spanking a child is benneficial to a child...its not?...Like you said: Don't judge an apple before its picked. Oh and one more thing, I was spanked as a child, i was also put into the corner an awful lot...but, all my mom ever did was yell..she never praised me.Or paid any mind to me otherwise.THAT is why i feared her and have no respect for her today. She never wanted me around. With my dd I praise over the smallest things, I acknowledge her when she remembers on her own the right way to behave. I give her my undivided attention. She is very polite and I recieve praise myself from strangers on the street over how well behaved she is.Believe me she has her major toddler moments...shes a kid. I am completly confident that she will turn out to be a very responsible,open minded and caring adult who respects me.





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