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Parenting Issues Message Board

Parenting Issues Board Index

Hello nwhat, I just joined this site and noticed your message while looking for info on lymphnodes. I am very sorry to hear of your little girls ordeal. I can empathize with her, as myself I was molested by my step father, uncle and 2 brothers from the age of 4 till I turned 12. I lived on the streets after running away between the ages of 9 and 12, with the last time being for about 8 months or so, before going to live at an Evangeline Home for girls when I was around 13. I sought treatment when I turned 19, for an alcohol and drug addiction issues directly related to my past abuse. During my treatment the doctors uncovered a condition called D.I.D (Disociative Identity Disorder - formerly known as Multipal Personality Disorder). I am still currently in treatment, and although after many years of therapy my "alter selves" have been integrated. I still suffer from night terrors and flashbacks. From what I can understand, I have been in at least 3 lenghtly relationships with all ending in abuse on myself. I cannot stress the importance of early treatment for victims, as with myself I waited far to long, with the damage being much more difficult to overcome. I'm not an expert with degrees, but I can tell you that what your daughter will need from you most, is your love, support and exceptance. Her recovery and longevity as a functional person depends on it. Your daughter has one advantage that most do not, and that is a loving mom who believes in her, for which I did not, but was rather made to believe that I was the provoker to my own abuse. You see I am also a mother of a little girl as well, she just turned 6 on August 16/05, and is presently in the care of her father, due to him not returning her after his scheduled visit, and is now using my therapy as a reason to keep her. I've been fighting a court battle to get her back home, as I'm very uneasy about the fact of her being in the company of any males for fear of the same happening to her, and moreso with her father because he was molested and abused at a young age as well with no treatment ever sought on his part- this is very unsettling to me, and he also has alcohol issues on top of this. I have the "Office Of The Children's Lawyer" involed in my daughters case, and hope that they will investigate these issues with her father a little more. I just wanted to mention as well, that my step father was arrested when I turned 19, and was convicted after my having to testify against him in an open court, with the end result being: that of him receiving 2 months in jail and 1 year probation and 1 year prohibited from being in the presence of anyone under the age of 16 years old. Although my attempts at prosecqution have appeared to be futile, and least he was repremanded in some small way. I don't feel that justice was served, but he could never give back the years of joy that "I should" have been alotted for being a child. I had to fly from London Ontario to Saint John N.B. to give my testimony, it is truly a disgrace the way the judicial system works. Although I will probably never be married with a happiness that most are capable of having, I do thank god for my 2 children, I love them both dearly and would protect them with my life. My son is 18 and my girl is 6, they will forever be miracles, in my what would seem to be life long recovery. Mother's and father's - PROTECT your children, a simple plea from a survivor. I participate in the safety of our children, and hope to see the laws changed to provide stiffer examples of perpetrators and manditory treatment of offenders. They should be forced to understand what their actions done, to any child ultimately leads to - broken trust, broken lives. Thanks for listening nwhat, I know that I can't take away your daughter's pain or yours for that matter, but I hope through my experience that maybe I've been able to help you- in helping with your daughter. I will keep you both in my prayers, take care, best of luck and God Bless......Diana:) :angel:

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