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Parenting Issues Message Board

Parenting Issues Board Index

Sounds like how I was at age three and four... went through my "teenage years" from about 4-7, being interested in make-up, jewelry, fighting with my mom, getting my own way, being in charge... Was a "pre-teen" from about 8-11, and a full-fledged adult from 11 1/2 until now (18). I had to grow up fast- I'm very prudish and virginal in every aspect of the word, but the issues with my emotionally neglectful father forced me to become independent, like my mom, who I'm very close with. I've always been very mature for my age emotionally- I've seriously had the same personality since 3-4, which is very odd. It's very difficult because you're so above your peers- can't tell you how frustrating it is to be a college freshman and constantly be around immaturity 24-7... :rolleyes: Your daughter might simply be acting this way for attention, trying to compete with her younger brother, or it could, unfortunately, be who she is. I wasn't abusive, but I've always been very mouthy to my mother. I threw a lot of fits and got into a lot of trouble, and I, too, was labeled "bad" and "hyperactive" and "always getting into things," but truthfully, I've always been a stickler for the rules (my OCD). I just was always very independent, and wanted to choose my own clothes and pick my own style; plus I have always been hyperaware of sensory feels, so I couldn't stand certain clothes- why clothes shopping was a disaster... ;) I never did anything "bad"; I just wouldn't listen to my mother's orders, and I still don't. She still will tell me to go get my shower- my life, and I'll decide when... but, I have never gotten into fights, booze, sex, drugs, etc. b/c I'm terrified of that. The only crime I've ever committed was smarting off to my mom and annoying her with barrages of questions/reassurances that, until now, I didn't realize was early OCD... Looking back on it, I possessed most of the characteristics for "early-onset bipolar disorder": hated to sleep (still do), was hyper, loud, always-on-the-go, talkative, etc, and I really wouldn't be surprised if I was slightly hypomanic at times b/c I can function without any problem on four-five hours of sleep. However, most likely, this is just my personality, and it can come across as hypomanic. You definitely need to get your daughter to stop the abuse, but you have to ask yourself and her if she's doing this for attention or for some hidden reason. Could she be anxious? Could she be hyper? I know that a lot of the "bad," resistant things that I did as a child were probably OCD-related compulsive avoidance of anxiety-producing things- very likely considering that I'm still a procrastinator and compulsive avoider... (Example- the shower thing. I love to be clean, and I get a shower every day, but it's hard for me because getting wet makes me so uncomfortable, so I just ignore my mother's protests, not because I want to get her mad, but because getting wet is just so painstaking for me...) I don't want you to think that your doctor has an illness, because it could just be a mere stage of preschooler bossiness, but it just strikes me that she acted so very much like me at that young age. Very few four-year-olds actually talk back to their mother like a 14-year-old does... If you have any questions or just need to vent, I'm always here! God bless! :angel:

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