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Parenting Issues Message Board

Parenting Issues Board Index

I am 17 years old and a sophmore in college. I won't lie, I wouldn't be where I am if it weren't for my mom. After all, it was her idea to homeschool me and push me to not just do good, but great at everything I do. But as to why I'm here, again, I'm not going to lie I've dated a lot of guys in my time. The relationships lasting anywhere between 1 month and 1 year. I was single for about 4 months before I met my current boyfriend "Kevin". I fell head over heels but knew I had to keep my head straight, for I had many important responsibilities around the house. I wasn't about to let a boy distract me from my work.

Throughout the course of our relationship my mom told me that when me and him start messing around sexually, to tell her. She wanted to make sure that I had enough time between me getting birthcontrol and us having sex. I had every intention of letting her know. How can you hide something from someone who encourages you to be open with them?

After dating "kevin" for six months we started messing around. On the same night we messed around, we had protected sex. This was on a monday. Tuesday I had school, wednesday I worked, and Thursday I had school once again. Friday morning I get called into her bedroom. I thought this would be a good opportunity to tell her about me and kevin. She got to it first. She outright said, " I know you're not a virgin anymore ". I then said I was just going to tell you. After I said that she lost it. She got plastered drunk that night and the following two nights. She grounded me from kevin, computer, and my cell phone for a month.

The punishment was understandable to me. I never disrespect my mom or her decisions as far as my discipline. When the one month was up, she told me to invite kevin over. I did. Shortly after he arrived, my brother showed us this movie and thought we should all watch it in my bedroom. My little brother got bored with it about halfway through. My boyfriend and I continued to watch the movie. After it ended, we just laid in my bed and talked. There was no messing around or any sexual activity going on. An hour and a half after the movie he went home.

This morning I woke up to my mom screaming at me. She was saying that I desecrated her home with my "lude sex acts". I never argued with my mother before today. I told her that kevin and I didn't have sex last night. And she said she heard us doing some "hard grinding". At that moment I swore my mom had lost her marbles.

After the arguement she told me to pack up my things and leave. I was shocked. She kicked my older brother out when he was 17. Only after he came home in a cop car seven times, chased my mom with a knife, had items that were purchased with stolen credit cards delivered to our house, and got caught growing and selling marijuana from our garage. No arguement. I just started to pack my things and called kevin asking him to come pick me up. My mom left the house while I was packing. She called about 10 minutes later telling me to stay put. After she came home, she told me that I was banned from kevin. We are not allowed to see or talk to eachother ever again.

Now, I want to know from other parents if this is something you would have done. I want to know how I can approach my mom about this. I want to know from my mom why she behaved as irrational as she did. but I don't know how to talk to her without provoking some kind of arguement out of her.

Please. Someone help me. I love my mom too much for something like this to come between us. I want to make things better between us but I don't know how.

Any comments, suggestions, and advice is greatly appreciated.

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