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Parenting Issues Message Board

Parenting Issues Board Index

Hi. I am new here and I see that most of the questions are about younger kids. My problem is my 18 year old. He lives at home and does not have a job, go to school or drive yet. He has been a late bloomer. The plan was for him to get a job after the holidays. He has also never had a serious girlfriend. All of that changed about 2 months ago, when he met a 16 year old girl. She has dropped out of school 2 years ago (since 9th grade) and also has multiple serious issues in her family/past. At first, it seemed harmless, hanging out, going out to eat, even hanging out here at our home. It has progressed very quickly to a need for them to be together all of the time. This girl's mom does not enforce any rules or curfew upon her daughter at all. My son decided last week that he would ignore curfew and spend the night at her house, which resulted in him "running away" for 4 days! he came back, but since that time is totally uninvolved with his family. We also have a 14 year old daughter. We had been a close and happy family prior to this. We have never told him not to see her, but have cautioned him that it seems a bit unhealthy at this point. He does not care and says that he can fix her and that his only goal in life now is to make her happy, no matter what! He plans to move out as soon as he can now. Am I wrong to impose rules or curfew on a young man that will be 19 on Friday? I do feel that since he lives here and we support him that we have the right to expect some respect from him towards his own family. Since he has no car, we always have to drive him everywhere. I am worried about the fate of this relationship too. She has had serious issues and in fact has already sent me verbally abusive emails with subtle threats, calling herself "lucifer" I am freaking out! Any advice from somebody that has raised a teenage boy?? Thanks.

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