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Parenting Issues Message Board


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Thanks for the feedback everyone.

On Monday, we went to a counselor about our oldest (my ex thought she needed it). So day one was just the ex and I. I find it really odd, because during our 'split' and when I found out about the affair, she REFUSED to go to counselor. I begged her for the sake of our family to go... but she didn't want to, not caring what effect it might have on our girls.

But now, oh.... she's ALL FOR them! Geez.

Anyway, I felt I was gang tackled, so to speak. The counselor agreed that it would be best for the girls to be in ONE home the weekdays and the other during weekends. NOT what we agreed on with the split custody (we go 15 days each per month now).

She also said that (she, meaning the counselor) that it's not a good idea to bring in someone else into their lives now... and don't recommened it until we are about to get married. In fact, she said they now say it's best to wait until they are at least Juniors in HS before getting remarried.

***?!??!!?

My girls are 3 and 5!!!!!!!! Accord to this counselor, I should wait freaking 13 years?!??! So I can be 45???

My GF is really upset with all of this. She really does care for my girls, wants to see them, because again, she knew them before we really even thought of dating. My girls get upset when she doesn't get to hug her when she leaves. She has pictures of the at her home :(

I do understand that the theory is not 'yanking' another love away from them if we broke up/if this didn't work out... but wouldn't that be the case now if they stopped seeing her? What about any random friend that they have? They have had GREAT friends move away, and both girls never had any problems with it.

I just feel I'm being pushed out of their lives. We moved down to this town because my ex-wife wanted to live closer to her family. But it was a clear plan to leave me... I helped paint her home, fix the bathroom leaks, all the time she was cheating on me and waiting 30-days to file for divorce in our new county. Now, my girls spend hours on end with her parents each week. I just feel like a 3rd party.

Example: Yesterday there was the V-Day parties for my girls, at Pre-K and Day Care. At the Day Care, my little one was so happy to see me (and my ex). Then my ex's dad shows up (He was taking her after that party because it was my ex's day and she had to work, of course). Now, I'm the 3rd person in the picture... my little one would almost rather see 'Papa' than daddy. Same goes for the "Nana".

It's great they get to spend time with their grandparents, but for now until who knows when I'll always have to be 'sharing' or 'competing' against my ex-in laws.





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