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(thanks for your patience ;) )

After seeing the Pediatrician, I noticed that both Erin & I were less anxious and Erin's sunshine returned (of which made this mom happy). We go in for our bloodwork today and are squeezing in lunch as well.

So....I think things are better all round. This morning I realized that as parents Tom & I have instilled in both of our daughters a solid foundation and that there is really nothing more we can do other than wait for it to take effect. It would be unrealistic to expect it to take full effect now during these teenage years when they are trying to find themselves as a separate entity from their parents. I realized that it is time to let go & let GOD. I have done my job...and I think a fairly good one. ;) You guys validate that too. But it does shake my confidence when I see them stumbling & falling....I naturally want to go and pick them up but I realize it is time for them to get themselves back onto their own two feet and let them know that I am still there if they should need. I am their advisor now and soon to be confidant.

As far as the boyfriend, Ruth, we do have a close eye on the situation. In reading the IM's, Erin was more intiative then him so I do not find fault with him per say. Tom & I have decided to have him over and meet with him along with Erin and spell out our expectations and concerns.

In talking to Erin about what she sees in this guy she says that he is not a "hot" guy and that is not important to her like she once thought. She told me that he is caring, nice, understands her and is respectful to her unlike alot of other guys. I taught her that, look more at what is inside a person than outside. :D And it is a clear sign that she is listening to what I share with her!!! Perhaps her IM was a way to gauge him....not the best way...but she may have played a game to test him. The guy has some family problems and I have a feeling that Erin sees something worth saving.....the thing is, I am trying to share wiht her how that sometimes in trying to save another you end up losing yourself. ;) daughter is more like me than we actually thought :D .....and I have shared my emotionally abusive relationship with both my daughters and think it is time to continue sharing that with Erin. I do not see her BF treating her badly at fact on Valentine's Day he had her locker stuffed with presents. When she ran away and I called him, he called us immediately to let us know that she was safe. Yes, he reported us to CPS...but that was all based on what Erin told him.....can I fault him for that??? He seems to genuinely care and has not called our home once knowing that this week Erin is not talking to friends. I am thinking of inviting him over for dinner tonight so we can talk to them about how much we all genuinely care about Erin and how we can most help her through this time.

Tom & both think that making the BF our ally is far better a strategy than making him our enemy. This came from some wonderful advice from one of my best friends that God has blessed me with who is also helping me through all of this ;) .

Ruth and all...I could really use your input on this....Ruth I would especially like you to guide me through the mental health issues since perhaps Erin may be have something more going on that I am unaware of and totally inexperienced with. I am hoping that the 13 year old that seemed to lose her way but found it could hold my hand and help me through with the experience that she does have that could assist me with Erin. ;) :wave: :angel: Just knowing you are there as well as all the other wonderful mothers here really means the world to me.

Thanks for the time you give to me & my family.....they are the most important things in the world to me and when they hurt, I hurt.

((((HUGS))) and sincere gratitude ~ Goody

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