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Thanks, Ruth, and all my Parenting Board friends for all your love & support. I cannot thank you enough for your words or wisdom and for being there to provide me with the strength that I need to get through these trying times.

This week has not been the easiest and I am certain that there are mmore tyring times ahead but one thing I am sure of is that WE WILL get through them......I know that my confidence as a mom is always shaken as I am sure my daughter's confidence as she approaches adulthood is as well. And one thing I am sure of is that we do love one another and I smile seeing that we are more alike than ever and if I turned out okay she will as well!!! :D

We both share a love of music, are both sensitive and caring, and live with an array of emotions. This week we drove around playing some music....I introduced my daughter to Linda Ronstadt....my daughter was mad, quiet and dealing with many demons and I needed a way to permeate through all of that and just knew that music would be the way to get through to her. So I explained to her that Linda Ronstadt helped me through many hard times and I proceeded to play her greatest hits CD. We came upon "Desperado" and I told my daughter that I would like to dedicate the song to her and I sang it with my loudest, greatest voice (I have a pretty good one too ;) ) and allowed it to permeate the air hoping & praying that it would open up a door. At a particular part I hugged my daughter as we were driving and she sat next to me in the passenger front seat next to me.

As with many prayers, they seem to look as though they go unanswered but with hope & faith they grow. The next day while going to do some errands....my daughter goes to Linda Ronstadt's CD and says she really liked that song and proceeds to find it and starts to bellow out the lyrics to "Desperado"!!! I help her along during the parts that she is uncertain of and soon the two of us are resonating the song together!!! :D

This week has been difficult in the sense of wondering whether we will ever be connected.....but singing that song gave me some hope that with time and gentle support we will emerge out of this okay.

The thing I am most struggling with now is whether there are other factors that need looking into. A psychologist that I called through our church spent some time with me on the phone. When I described what was going on he seemed to think that Erin has some borderline issues going on and should be evaluated by a psychiatrist especially after she has a history of cutting, had taken a large dose of advil, and has such mood swings. As a mom I only see the wonderful sunshiney caring sensitive child who is going through the most painful time in her life.....I remember this time as being extremely painful for me as well. But from an outsider it may be something more that needs looking into and shouldn't be ignored. At times I wonder where it is that my sunshiney daughter has gone...the sunshine has faded into sadness and sometimes anger and slef destructive ways. And that hurts me to the core to see her so tormented. Ruth perhaps you can share more with me and help me through this part.

I called the Pediatrician and spoke to her regarding all of the changes in Erin. I told her everything the good, the bad & the ugly. We worked together in the past and she seemed dry and curt on the phone and this worried me because I shared the CPS report....I was not sure if I should contact the Pediatrician because of that thinking that perhaps it could be viewed as a parent overcompensating....but when I asked myself what I would do if there weren't a report and I came up with the same plan.....I went with that knowing that I was doing the right thing. So I told all....how my daughter had reported us to CPS and how painful that was and that she lied saying I had caused a scratch to her face and that I had to disclose to CPS her past history of cutting knowing that the scratch didn't come from me and believing my daughter possibly had self inflicted it to have a way out of our home. The doctor listened and her curtness had me fearing the worst. I asked her what she recommended I do knowing Erin since she was born and me trusting her. I told her that I had finally gotten Erin to agree to a physical and doctors looking into a possible physical chemical psychological problem that may be attributing to the things occuring with her lately. The doctor suggested a group therapy and barely provided me with names or ways to contact them. I told her how crucial it was that she worked with me on this since Erin was not trusting of many people and that it may come best if she supported me in telling Erin that from a medical standpoint. She told me that there wasn't much she could do in terms of counselling that Erin required in her opinion something intense because of the history and really needed help. She agreed to doing a physical yesterday. We went for that and seeing the doctor in person after she examined Erin alleviated my fears. She told me how beautiful and intelligent a young lady Erin was (she hadn't seen her in almost 2 years) and that she really thought she was going to be okay but that as she expected there wasn't much she could evaluate with her expertise. She discussed with me Erin's increased acne and thought that we should further treat that to increase her confidence. She suggested Retin A since the other med she perscribed didn't seem to help. I voiced my concerns about depression being a side effect of many of the acne treatments and she agreed and gave me a referrral to a dermatolgist. I asked the doctor to save any other discussion for when Erin was with us since she seemed to be voicing concenrs of my discussions about her excluding her. When Erin came out we discussed our concerns about her recent behavior, the teenage years and her handling of certain pressures. The docotr told Erin that she had ordered bloodwork that would check for any hormonal involvement with her moods and that she suggested to me that we look into a doctor that would look into some psychological aspects that she was able to do.....that the doctor she recommended was good and how important it was to go to find out a way to help her through these rough years and to ignore it would not be in her best interest in terms of her overall health and happiness. I told the doctor that I had an appointment on 3/15 with the psychiatrist she had recommended and that through our church there was a psychologist who would meet with Erin as well. She told Erin that she thought that was the best thing to do until we all felt things were evaluated and that her overall health was okay. Erin nodded and it went far better than the other day when I was honest with her & told her what the psychologist from the church and the Pediatrician told me we should do and her refusing to go.

(Another TO BE CONTINUED... :D )





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