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Parenting Issues Message Board


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[QUOTE=crisma]Oh Goody, I just wanted to cry when I read your last post! I know we are not supposed to be given more than we can handle, but why does it all seem to come at once! How is your brother doing? Is there anything that can be done for the autonomic failure? That sounds pretty scary!! [/QUOTE] I am still awaiting news about my brother....I spoke to my SIL last at 2am...he was in for a CAT scan and once that was done they expected to discharge him. He is on a regimine of meds that they need to adjust....he has severe migraines that become debilitating. I woke up with one this morning....from my meltdown yesterday when I got the news of his going to the hospital I asked the God Lord to give me some of the pain to burden. And this morning He did....I thought with the way I screamed last night to let it all out, that I may have ruptured a few blood vessels in my head. But the advil kicked in after a few hours.....the headache is beginning to come back. I am awaiting an update but am waiting for them to call since they may be recuperating from last night. The autonomic failure is like a miswiring in the nervous system....where exactly it is is almost impossible to know but the only treatment is betablockers and antiseizure type meds that they have to constantly adjust. I am praying for a cure, a miracle for him....he needs it.

[QUOTE=crisma]Good grief! I thought older sis was doing great at uncles house. I wonder what is going on with her? How are you going to handle the things with her, since she is not there with you? That cannot be an easy place to be in right now. I feel for you[/QUOTE] My husband and I contemplated when first informed of her problems on Tuesday of one of us going down and getting an apartment and taking her out of my brother's house. That is until little sis pulled her shennanighans!!! The school is a half an hour drive from my brother....we were thinking of finding a place close to the school where she can take a bus (there is no bussing from my brother's house because my daughter had a choice of schools and the one she chose is state of the art & brand new.) If it weren't for that she would not be driving the car.....she is driving to reduce the stress on my brother. It has been arranged under the circumstances that she drive to school, turn in her keys and collect them at the end of the day. My brother has her car registered and titled in his name and said that if she doesn't show up home from school within an alotted amount of time he will report the car stolen. We are in agreement of that. All four of us realize that we need to get her graduated from High School and not let her deviate from that goal. My brother feels it's best if they keep her on...we agreed one more slip up and I go down there.

[QUOTE=crisma]Sounds like BF's mom is asking for trouble. Leaving a teenager alone with a blind,dying, elderly grandpa? You were definetly right by not letting lil sis go over there to visit! Are you going to keep her away from BF? Is he a good kid? If so, I wonder why her troubles seem to have started with him. If he isn't I can understand. Maybe she is seeing the freedom he gets and thinks that is something cool that she should be able to do. My oldest son, who is almost 13, has a friend that he thinks is cool because his mom lets him to whatever he wants, but I try not to encourage that friendship, because I know where it can lead. But it seems like the greatest thing when you are a kid.[/QUOTE] The boy is questionable......I have my antenna up to keep close tabs on the situation. Seems from feedback from some of her teachers that I was told to keep an eye on the situation....that he could be trouble. My daughter spends as much time with another boy who is like her best freind and the teachers said that he will keep her in line and is a great boy and will keep things balanced. My feelings are that if I forbid the situation then she will rebell and be in more trouble. If I keep close enough tabs on it then it should be something that will eventually fizzle out. My daughter did share with me that his mom called the police on him and in the next breath his mom is cool!! This may have added to my daughter's thinking that by involving CPS she could manipulate things and make things equally dramatic.

[QUOTE=crisma] Her comments about boys not being there was right on. See, you are getting through to her! I know right now it may not seem like it, but you are. She is getting everything you are trying to teach her, but she is just not mature enough to put it all where it is supposed to be. She may be resentful of her punishment, but as long as you are there for her, she will eventually get it.[/QUOTE] Thanks....I think so too. Right now I feel as if I cannot be called mommy after being called an abuser. My heart is hurting and I am trying to get past it....I need so much for my daughter to apologize and own up to this....more for herself than for me. It is hard to pretend that this didn't hurt that she would go out of her way to make others believe that we are child abusers and that she is afraid to live with us. Even last night she still says she would rather live elsewhere.....that hurts, it really does. I need a few days to recuperate.

[QUOTE=crisma]The CPS thing was a shocker. Are you worried about that? That has always been a fear of mine. I am a good mom, I don't abuse my children, but I have a very vindictive mother who threatens to turn me in to CPS whenever she gets mad at me, and that has always worried me. Did the caseworker seem concerned? Or did she realize she just has a ticked off teen that is trying to get at her parents? I really shouldn't be shocked that she did that though. In schools today, they shove that down kids throats, I think sometimes way too much![/QUOTE] I am mixed with it all. I guess if it were really a problem they would have taken her last night. We were told that a supervisor would be coming for a followup visit. I told my daughter that her lies took a caseworker away from a child that may have been saved and had died at the hands of her parents and that she needed to really think about that. And also....that I did not blame the person who filed the report...from what they were told they were obligated to do so to protect a child. The sin of it all was that they were basing that report on lies, lies told by her. And most of all that she still had a way to make things right.....that it wouldn't be easy but I knew that she could do it. I think that the system knows that it is abused quite a bit and knows the signs of real abuse. There is not doubt in my mind that she saw two loving parents who have a 14 year old teen trying to find her way. ;) The humiliation is another thing that I am trying to deal with.

[QUOTE=crisma]As for your hubby saying what he did about the IM, he was right on. Does your daughter not understand how others will view her by saying the things she has said on the IM? And I agree with the boot camp thing too. I sure hope that they are not going to consider that "abusive behavior". Maybe if more parents would handle things like you and your husband are, some of the kids would not be where they are today.[/QUOTE] The caseworker seemed to smile when I told her about the "Boot Camp" :D And we still have her in boot camp.....we need to regroup and hubby and I are going to come up with a daily agenda. Some of which will involve community service. We need to come up with a way to turn her bad karma into good karma. With some guidelines and lots of love we will get there. Today I am being called Goody instead of mom because I told her until she does what she needs to do to make me feel like the mom that I really am & she knows I am it hurts to be referred to as mom. I told her today that I am hurt and feel it is up to her to make things right and that she should take the time to figure that out.

[QUOTE=crisma]Keep your head up Goody! Remember you are a GREAT MOM and you are doing things that are going to make your daughters GREAT people. They WILL get it and they WILL love you even more for it later. They may not realize it now, but it WILL happen! I will keep saying my prayers for your family. Remember also, in the long run it doesn't matter how bumpy the road is, what matters is where that bumpy road will take you! It may not seem like it now, but it will take your family to great places. Please keep us posted to how things are going. I will be thinking of you![/QUOTE] Thank you, Cristie for all your kind and uplifting words....you and others here are what got me through this day. It was a difficult day and I am soo emotionally exhausted. This took more out of me than I thought. I am hoping by the end of the weekend that I will be better.

(((HUGS))) ~ Goody :angel:





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