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I am venting in the heat of the moment so forgive me...

My 8 yr. old DS is driving me nuts. I love this kid more than anything. From the moment he was born, he's been advanced. B/C of his birthday, he's only in 2nd grade, he's 5 ft. tall and 110 lbs. We are your regular family, mom/dad, loving home, 5 yr. old sister, I stay home. Dad works. Both very involved with school and sports. Dad coaches. Family movie nights, close conversation, loving warm and lots of attention..they want for nothing, they are being raised that although financially things come easily for us, it doesn't for most, therefore we are raising them to respect others, we give back to society, we volunteer, we are good people as they say.....that's it in a nutshell....

NOW for DS! Too smart for his own good. Bored to death in school. Been addressed since kindergarten. Talks too much, is bigger than peers, gets noticed more, is always in trouble..never hurtful or malicious, just talking, out of control at times, doesn't listen....he's only happy when playing sports, or give him an old VCR and let him take it apart, he'll put the darn thing back together, he loves science, anything analytical, he's very very smart..had him tested, not gifted, yet way above everyone else and hasn't learned the lesson of patience and hates working on what takes the rest of the class weeks to learn as he picks it up immediately. The school has no suggestions although it's supposed to be an excellent school.

At home, we have to tell him things a million times..if you give him three things to do, he does two. His homework is 1/2 ****d! He is giving, loving, holds doors for the elderly, he's kind, he's wonderful but SO DARN LAZY and doesn't listen, he argues every single point, no matter what it is.....we are at our wits end. If you say black, he says white....he whines, he wants to do so much more than his age allows....we give him lots of freedoms yet that doesn't work...nothing works...

I have a conference with his teacher and the principal next week. Some concerns I have is his teacher yelled at him and screamed "DO YOU GET ANY ATTENTION AT HOME" and another day "DO YOU EVER EVER SHUT UP" am I wrong or is this inappropriate? I will be the first to tell them he is not perfect, but this is unacceptable! She left me a ranting message on my cell phone last week about him and he told me he already knew about it before I could tell him b/c she did it in front of him and the whole class....

I know I am venting and ranting myself here...he is such an awesome kid..we just don't know what to do anymore...sticker charts, priveleges being taken away, counseling, ADD testing, NOTHING WORKS and he's healthy and fine as a horse! All I ever get is "boys will be boys" or he's today's version of Tom Sawyer.......today a neighbor came over to tell me my son was climbing on her fence and swinging on the gate when I've repeatedly told him not to do it and he did it again! When I went in to punish him,he had a total tantrum. I know he's overtired as we were up late last night, but he was hysterical! I watch his diet, never too much sugar, he gets plenty of rest normally.......

He acts like a kid sometimes that has ADD (not to sound mean or ANYTHING LIKE THAT) it's been a concern but they assure me he does not! He takes vitamins, is physically active in sports, gets tons of attention.....nothing works!

I don't know what I am asking here. Just venting. Other than beating him, what the HECK will work? I am so angry today. We just had a warm, loving family talk last night about his behavior and lots of hugs, and self confidence booster stuff, and then today he gets into trouble again!

Anybody been through this and have suggestions? I am really ready to lost it!
In the meantime, I just grounded him and he's in bed and fell asleep. Sleeping him sleep makes my heart melt!

UGH! P.S. for the record, 5 year old sister, an angel! LOL
First of all, a teacher said that to your 8 year old son? That is totally inappropriate for someone his age, maybe even in general. Even when you're angry you have to handle it well especially with children.

Anyway, your son is EXACTLY like my younger brother. I mean, exactly. I'm 19 now, and my brother is 16, and he's still the same way. My brother doesn't have ADD or anything like that, definitely handy, is smarter than average, but is always acting up in school or with my parents. It's been a pain since almost the day he was born, lol. My brother is definitely lazy too.

After 16 years of witnessing this, having my brother tested for being gifted, having ADD, etcetra - nothing. That is simply the way he is. The behavior in school is because he's bored, obviously...but if they won't do anything to help your son be more stimulated intellectually, nothing is going to happen.

As for his out-of-school behavior, yeah, kids tend to do things the more you tell them not to or if you freak out about it. An example with my brother:

Years ago, when my brother was about your son's age, my dad was doing a design on the wall of his bedroom, and for some reason it required a bit of red spray paint. My dad stressed over and over again, do not touch the red spray paint, blah blah blah, kept dragging on about it, and then my dad, being a little absent minded left the spray paint in his room which was dumb, and my brother sprayed it all over the wall. My dad saw it, flipped complete s**t, and went on and on about not doing it, and so on and so forth...still not taking it away. Later, he found my brother laughing, spraying it out the window onto my mother's car.

An example with me: I was a little baby, so I didn't know better, but I tried to say "fish" once, but instead I said "*****", my mom didn't scream about it, but she was like *gasp!* don't you ever say that, and from that point on I kept doing it over and over again.

I'm not saying don't tell your son to stop, but don't make it so it's more tempting to do. Each time he does, just punish him more. If he needs to be sent to his room 10 mins the first time, then 20 the next, fine. If he throws a tantrum, so be it. Kids learn that way.

Spend time with your son on homework, and sit there until he does it properly and does a good job. It may take time out of your day, but he's your son, and you don't want him going down the tubes in school. Have him do his homework everyday at the same time: for my brother and I, it was 4:00, no if's and's or but's about it.

I really don't know what to tell you! I'm not a parent myself, but I'm sure if my mother was reading this she'd understand completely where you're coming from. I know it's tough...and I'm sorry I can't be of more help!
Hi I was wondering if you ran across my original post of "6 Year Old Driving Everyone Crazy!! HELP!!!! "
My son is going through the same exact issues minus the size, mine is average for age.

This is a partial list of his "symptoms"? if you want to call them that or just my observations.
Burned himself all the time
Stove
Candle
Fireplace
Drank hot water
Pans on stove
Licked pan on stove

Licks people
Touches people
Hugging people
Gets angry instantly
Absent minded
Stands around naked and unless and required to dress will stay that way
Cant stay focused to get tasks done
Puts his face in others faces
Reads at an advanced level
Can do math really well
Can load and save things on a computer under his own name
Dislikes sports
Loves video games and TV
Likes to cuddle
hates anything to do with fine motor skills
very uncoordinated
people say he is lofty or quirky
He prefers to be alone at recess.

He is seeing a spychologist right now which is giving him an iq test the next time we meet. She thinks it is a high functioning aspbergers even though he doesnt fit in every catagory. I'm starting to agree because nothing we have done has helped at all!!!

I hope this helps and I hope if someone has other information for us they post it here. I'm sooooo exhausted and frustrated and confused.





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