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Parenting Issues Message Board

Parenting Issues Board Index

First of all, a teacher said that to your 8 year old son? That is totally inappropriate for someone his age, maybe even in general. Even when you're angry you have to handle it well especially with children.

Anyway, your son is EXACTLY like my younger brother. I mean, exactly. I'm 19 now, and my brother is 16, and he's still the same way. My brother doesn't have ADD or anything like that, definitely handy, is smarter than average, but is always acting up in school or with my parents. It's been a pain since almost the day he was born, lol. My brother is definitely lazy too.

After 16 years of witnessing this, having my brother tested for being gifted, having ADD, etcetra - nothing. That is simply the way he is. The behavior in school is because he's bored, obviously...but if they won't do anything to help your son be more stimulated intellectually, nothing is going to happen.

As for his out-of-school behavior, yeah, kids tend to do things the more you tell them not to or if you freak out about it. An example with my brother:

Years ago, when my brother was about your son's age, my dad was doing a design on the wall of his bedroom, and for some reason it required a bit of red spray paint. My dad stressed over and over again, do not touch the red spray paint, blah blah blah, kept dragging on about it, and then my dad, being a little absent minded left the spray paint in his room which was dumb, and my brother sprayed it all over the wall. My dad saw it, flipped complete s**t, and went on and on about not doing it, and so on and so forth...still not taking it away. Later, he found my brother laughing, spraying it out the window onto my mother's car.

An example with me: I was a little baby, so I didn't know better, but I tried to say "fish" once, but instead I said "*****", my mom didn't scream about it, but she was like *gasp!* don't you ever say that, and from that point on I kept doing it over and over again.

I'm not saying don't tell your son to stop, but don't make it so it's more tempting to do. Each time he does, just punish him more. If he needs to be sent to his room 10 mins the first time, then 20 the next, fine. If he throws a tantrum, so be it. Kids learn that way.

Spend time with your son on homework, and sit there until he does it properly and does a good job. It may take time out of your day, but he's your son, and you don't want him going down the tubes in school. Have him do his homework everyday at the same time: for my brother and I, it was 4:00, no if's and's or but's about it.

I really don't know what to tell you! I'm not a parent myself, but I'm sure if my mother was reading this she'd understand completely where you're coming from. I know it's tough...and I'm sorry I can't be of more help!

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