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Parenting Issues Message Board

Parenting Issues Board Index

At school she is great - top speller in her school's kindergarten, great conduct, etc... She doesn't get frustrated when she has trouble with something, she controls her emotions. I don't push her when it comes to academics and haven't put any pressure on her. Her father and I don't fight or yell in front of the kids. We are extremely relaxed people usually. We are always very supportive and loving towards her. The only reason we show any favoritism towards the younger child is in a situation where the youngest is doing what she is told and gets rewarded and the oldest doesn't. We don't show favoritism by giving out different degrees of affection.

The reason I am worried is I'm starting to [b]become[/b] stressed and yell. This problem isn't a result of me being stressed and yelling. I am losing my patience [b]because[/b] of her behavior.

It's not that I don't love her... when I say I can't stand her it means I can't stand her behavior. I'm just not scared to say it. I've read The Strong Willed Child, Dare to Discipline, and Girls Will Be Girls among other parenting books. I have read a booked about bi-racial children called Why Doesn't Anyone Else Look Like Me, which states that around her age is when children start to notice the social differences between different races. My daughter is both African American / Caucasian. I haven't heard anything from her teacher in regards to her being abused at school and she is generally happy when she talks about her friends and her days there.

One thing that I do notice is that she is spoiled at my mother's house. She stays there every Saturday and my mother allows her to call her mommy, she lets her drink from sippy cups if she wants to and she feeds her junk food. My mom gives in at every occasion. But, when my mom does punish her and send her to time out, she does the same thing (clawing the floor, asking "Take Care of Me I'm just a little girl", "Don't let me die").

We don't understand why she is saying these kind of things. We can't tell if she knows it's a manipulation or if it's something she's seen on TV. We know it's not genuine emotion because if she sees something interesting she will just snap out of it and laugh or change her focus. She has never had a pet die. We never have neglected or caused her to fear for her life or any of us. The only thing I can think of is that my mom's aunt (who lives with my mom) currently has skin cancer.

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