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Parenting Issues Message Board

Parenting Issues Board Index

You say you're a "softy" and your husband "ignores" the problem. Well, you're son sure knows all that as well. I agree with the others that say calmly and firmly tell him what is acceptable and what is not and why. Tell him you will have this discussion only once and you'll write it down and put it in his room or on the fridge whatever.

Then when the bad behavior starts, and it will probably several times, be consistent. Say "We spoke about this it is unacceptable", then follow through with a punishment. When our family is out in public and one of the kids is disrespectful, we have them hold each others' hands (if they are bickering, etc. with each other) or they hold my or my husband's hand. Let me tell you, our 12 year old son has only had to have this occur twice and he realized it's better to follow the rules and be a nice person.

With younger kids, you'll get a tantrum and they'll be yanking on your hand/arm and acting like they're being brutalized. You may even get a remark from other people. When this happened with us, I say, "We are going to stop right here until you are under control". Then, I do not say one more word. We once had to stand in the middle of the mall for nearly 30 minutes. We usually then say "Ok, that wasn't fun to have to do hold hands. I would rather you use respectful words when you are upset or angry. Please say 3 nice things to each other and we'll move on with our day."

I will say I also notice boys go through this phase from about 8 to 10 where they are very mouthy.

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