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Parenting Issues Message Board


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Hi All-
I can't really believe I'm posting this, but I have to get this off my chest and this is the place to do it. I don't even know where to start.....:confused:

My 17 year old daughter has been a wonderful girl all of her life. She has rarely ever given us any kind of problem and basically follows "the rules". She does well in school, is in Honors classes and has been talking about going to college since the first day of Kindergarten. She is now a senior in high school and during the past several weeks, has really started "feeling her oats" and has been doing many things that are so uncharacteristic of her norm.

She and I had a huge pow-wow and come to find out, she has become sexually active with this boy she's been seeing. My husband and I never really cared for him because he would NEVER talk to us. He would come to our house and spend hours with our daughter, yet would totally ignore us. I know some people are shy, but really, I tried to give him every chance to come out of his shell at least a little bit.

Now on to the sex. My two kids have always known they can come to me and talk with me about anything without being judged. I have always had an "open ear" policy and have always been there to listen to them. They have always been able to talk to me, and my daughter has always promised that when she was at the point where she felt she would be thinking seriously about having sex, she would come to me. Well, she didn't and I am beyond upset. Yes, they used a condom, and no she isn't pregnant, but that doesn't mean that if she keeps on, she won't become pregnant.

Well, I have purchased a "Baby Think it Over". It arrived a couple days ago and I have to set it up. I have explained to my daughter the responsibilities that go along with being sexually active and she is well aware of the diseases that are out there and that condoms don't always protect against such things.

I am going to have her take care of this baby and see what it would be like if she were to get pregnant and have a baby. I just really want her to learn a life lesson so she doesn't end up a single mom who misses out on college because she has a baby to take care of. She has to care for this baby, except when she's in school, and she will have to keep a journal with daily entries as well.

She is also volunteering two afternoons a week in the infant & toddler rooms at the daycare as well. This gives her a real life experience with children.

My question is this- is this too harsh? I don't think it is, but I have to ask other parents. By the way, she has broken up with this guy and is now focusing on her school work.

She has such a bright future ahead of her, I just really want her to have the future she deserves.

Thanks in advance for any advice

PS- She is going to be seeing the GYN doctor as well and will be speaking with them about this..





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