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Parenting Issues Message Board

Parenting Issues Board Index

Re: Spanking
Jan 24, 2007
happymom and lisafaith have VERY good points. And I will use myself as an example of someone who was "spanked" as a child. Not very often I might add, but I do remember feeling embarrassed during the actual act of spanking. And what is the problem with feeling that way? I had just done something wrong...wouldn't it make sense that I feel something? shame? guilt?sorrow? Isn't that what we are lacking in this society? People who feel bad about their own actions?There are altof people who have no regards to other peoples feelings. Kids need to take responsibility for their actions. They NEED to feel embarrassed or have their little feelings hurt every once in awhile. HOw else are they gonna learn what "consequences" mean?... I do have many emotional problems. But they don't stem from being spanked! I think its easier for people to blame the act of spanking instead of the person who was behind the act. I'm not making sense? My mom, for example, spanked us. However, the issue was not her spanking me, it was how she treated me any other given day. I was ignored, I was ALWAYS being told to "go away". We didn't, and still don't have any type of relationship that I would call normal. And I am not going to sit here and blame "spanking" thats NONSENSE! My mother was not a good mother. She never showed me the love I really needed. I am the best parent I can be towards my children. I SHOWER my kids with an enormous amounts of love and affection. I treat my kids like how I wished my mom treated me. I also spank them. (WHEN its necessary) I talk to them like they are people and I pay attention to them (not just when I am disciplining them) We have alot of fun together. And both my kids understand that when I am angry at their "behavior" (which is what I tell them...its the behavior not them I don't like-which is very important to make clear) that I still love them. I tell them I love them more so when I am disciplining them. I want and need them to know that they will ALWAYS be loved no matter what it is they do. ITs how we raise our kids from day to day that has the most impact!(obviously if they are being beaten the way we know is abuse...then we have room to discuss the emotional scarring of those actions) But if ANY discipline is done in the correct way...its effective. whether its in the corner (which I could point out a few horrifying outcomes to being in the corner...should we label those parents too?)or if its having all their toys taken away...well, they could grow up fearing they will loose all of their possessions and become afraid to leave their house....I don't know...we could pick and pick and pick and each time we could find one story that went to the extreme...its NOT the act of the discipline...its the actions of the parents on a day to day basis. Thats where the problem is. ALOT of Parents don't pay attention to their kids. Whether its work or the computer or something else that is going on in the adult world. We wouldn't have had Columbine, had certain parents taken an interest in what their kids were up to thats for sure. So, with that said, I must now pay attention to my kids. They'll be scarred for life if I don't! (thats a joke) People...relax....and just do the best you can. Life is too short to be so serious ALLL the time. Have fun with your kids and just pay attention to them. Thats what they need most.

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