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Parenting Issues Message Board

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Hi everybody! Ok here's the delima. My exhusband (36) and I(37) have been separated for well over a year and I am dating again ( my ex moved in with his girl friend who is 8.5 years older then our daughter ,who will be 12 this month,the day he moved out)and no she was not the reason we divorced he was cheating on me with my so called best friend for 3 years and got busted,that's why we divorced. Unfortunately he was so stupid he told our dd that he was so in love w/the former best friend of mine and all sorts of other non-sense .so she is really angry w/him at this point( believe me so am I but thats neither here nor there)

So the current issue is I am dating this guy(37) who is really nice, very mellow, never married, has no children etc. Well my daughter is adamant she hates him,but in the next breath will send him a text msg saying Hi how are you? There has never been any PDA's infront of my children (2- boy (7) and daughter) he does not spend the nights or vise-versa. when we do things ( the 4 of us) it is low key picnics,go to the park, out to eat that kind of stuff. I don't believe she hates him as much as she claims, infact I'm not so sure she does at all, but when I ask her ,what is about him you hate so much, she can provide no answer,"it's just something about him" she replies. she is begging me to break off from seeing him, actually crying and carrying on. now let me tell you about her she is very very bright and has a tendency to be dramatic( she is in drama and all accelerated classes at school)She likes to think/try to be control of most situations ( she is the one that busted my ex all because of a text msg he would not let her read..).She does not get along w/my ex's gf at all, and really not even my ex, she basically only calls him when she wants something. When it comes to her dads gf, the 2 of them fight like teenagers. and the gf runs to "daddy" when my daughter says or does anything,then he turns around and says to our daughter ,"you are making so&so cry" and she gets in trouble, instead of trying to remind the gf that our daughter is having a hard time with this whole thing. Oh what a mess.

So any suggestions on how to help her understand that I have a life and am entitled to have a friend that I go out with as an adult. I am very involved with my children and all their activities and my friend is very supportive of me and very kind and patient. I know this is an adjustment for everyone but she needs to accept life today is not like it was 2+ years ago. also I do have both children in counseling and there is no issue with my son he gets along with both the bf and gf.

Sorry so long but thanks

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