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Parenting Issues Message Board


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Hello,

I am hoping someone can shed some light. My boyfriend has a 9yr old boy who lives with us 50%, with his Mom 50%. No other children at either home. I have been with BF and his son for about 3 years now, recently moving in together. Their divorce was a typical, messy and drug out. Kid's mom seems to be Bi-Polar, maybe substance issues going on.

At our house we have recently been working on consistent rewards and consequences, for good/bad behaviors and he has responded beautifully.

Yesterday, the child was at his Mom's for the first time in 2 weeks (she was too 'stressed' out and couldn't take him for her normal 50% of the preceeding weeks). She had him for all of 4 hours, and called hysterical, that their child had stood up, while watching a movie with his Mom, and urinated right on the carpet in front of her. He told her he didn't want to miss the movie, but then was arguing with her about it. She being the person she is, didn't know how to discipline him, and so was calling us. My boyfriend said, well, you have him, you deal with it. We don't call you on how to discipline. She then proceeded to say maybe we should come get him.

I can't imagine he would EVER do something like this at our house, and can't even see this child, who has been behaving so great for us, doing something like this!

It seems like truely barbaric behavior that comes out at Mom's, and I'm horrified, but my boyfriend seems to not be super concerned, and that it's obvious the child acts up that way at his Mom's, since she doesn't pay attention to him.

Do you think this behavior, of urinating on the carpet, substantiates an emergency visit to the therapist? His Mom does not participate with us, or on her own, for any counseling....which we feel has been a good thing for our household.

thanks for any insight.

A





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