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Parenting Issues Message Board

Parenting Issues Board Index

You need to do everything and anything to get your daughter the help that she needs. If you are supporting her then you do have some leverage in terms of helping her. It will be tough but you need to make it quite clear that if she is to live with you that certain things must be done.

Make it quite clear that if she is to hit you in anyway that the police will immediately be called in and she will go to the hospital...that if she is a threat to others or herself that will warrant her to be admitted. Tell her that you are going to do everything in your power to get her help, that it is your job as her father to do so, and that you don't want her to end up like her mother dead from this disorder. That it was because her mom didn't take meds or take the help that was out there to beat this disorder that things ended up as they did and that you will be damned to lose her the same way. That you are going to do everything in your power to fight this viscious disorder that is taking over her life whether she wants to or not and that it will be alot easier if she worked on the same team in which she sees the disorder as the enemy and not you. If she is better off with you then make it happen. It is going to take tough love and you cannot leave her with an out. Right now she needs your support in terms of food, shelter, and anything financial. If there is a way to make sure that your wife doesn't let take her in (such as pressing charges if she does so making it quite clear that you are going to do everything in your power to get your daughter the help that she needs and mow down anybody who stands in the way of that) Tell your daughter that there is no running away from this anymore....that you are going to do EVERYTHING and ANYTHING to get her help. Drug test her and have a consequence for it and stick by it. If she gets out of hand or breaks the law have her arrested. Let her know that you would rather her be in jail where it is safe and she may get help than out in the world where she will bring harm to herself. It is going to be a nasty fight and you may need to get your son's on board telling them that you have only a year left to save their sister and that things are not going to be pretty but that you would do the same for any of your kids if there was any harm coming to them. That it is going to affect all of you and that you will survive it. Get in as much support as you can in terms of keeping the family from falling apart....that means counselling services, the support of other family members or friends of picking up the slack if need be. Call in the infantry and the field artillery and consider this a battle that you are going to fight AND win. Make it clear to your daughter that you are not going to sit by anymore and let this Bipolar continue to take her life....that you intend to fight with every ounce of your being to get her stable and that there is hope that things will turn out good if she will only cooperate. As far as taking meds you need to set up consequences if she doesn't, no car, no priveleges (TV, cell phone, going out etc.) Make it mandatory that she go to her pdoc and tdoc appointments....make her see that you are in charge until she can take charge of her life.....that she WILL take the consequences of her actions until she accepts the treatment and chooses to turn her life around. Her using the drugs is a form of self medication to find something to make her feel better. But they only provide a temporary relief and mess even more with the chemical imbalance within her brain. Making her see that Bipolar is a real illness just like diabetes that needs to be treated or she may die is what you need to show her and others who are not accepting that this is something that is only going to get worse unless she gets the help that she needs.

It is going to be a tough daughter's help finally came when she went before the judge for her shoplifting charges and for breaking her probation. Somehow the judge saw, as we did, that our daughter was not the typical juvenile delinquent, that she was an honor student and child in trouble who needed his intervention to help her to get the help that she just wasn't getting or accepting. So he ordered a full psychiatric evaluation and she was hospitalized for an entire summer....losing only one summer of her life as compared to the rest of her life if she were not to get the help that she needed. And she finally did, thank God, and now has her entire future ahead of her. She is finally stable, has a boyfriend, worked two jobs this summer to save up for her first car, and is looking into colleges to pursue something in psychology.

It will be the toughest battle that you may ever fight but when you finally win it you will KNOW that it was worth every effort that you put into fighting it.

Look into NAMI and call the nearest facility near you and ask for their help in assisting you in getting the proper help for your daughter. Use every resource available to you in order to fight this battle knowing that when you win it you will have your daughter back...the one you had before the BP took over.

We are here for you in anyway that you may need.

((((((HUGS))))))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:

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