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Parenting Issues Message Board

Parenting Issues Board Index

I think that you should detach yourself as much as possible from your mom....she sounds toxic and obviously brings out the "worst" in you!!;)

Seriously, why go to such lengths to get something that your mom really isn't capable of giving you....unconditional motherly love which doesn't cost a penny!!! Perhaps sending her an email, short and sweet, that you no longer want any monetary gifts, that what you really need from her is her unconditional love and that shouldn't be measured against any materialistic thing, that it isn't something that she has to go out shopping for and would only require that she treat you with mutual respect and be loving and supportive of you. And that if she thinks that you need material things that she is wrong, that there have been many hurts between the two of you and that you want to figure out a way that these patterns of behavior are not repeated between you or that you will just choose to remove yourself from being hurt by her anymore. That you want her to have a relationship with your children and it will be up to them how that goes, that out of love and respect for her that you are encouraging them to be a part of her life despite some things in the past that she has done to hurt you through them.

I would write up a short email that doesn't go into the gorey details but just assertively tells her that you are no longer going to subject yourself to a relationship that is destructive and unless the two of you can find a way to bridge yourselves to a better place then you have chosen to only put yourself in situations that build on your self worth and respect.

I hate to see what this is doing to you....remember one thing, we cannot control or change what other people do or say but we CAN change how we react to it and things within ourselves.

Take a look at the Serenity Prayer.......

[SIZE="3"][COLOR="Magenta"][CENTER]God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.[/CENTER][/COLOR][/SIZE]

Remember to say it whenever your mom is getting to you. Good luck to you.

~ IG :)

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