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Parenting Issues Message Board


Parenting Issues Board Index


Thank you both! I feel better knowing I am not crazy! LOL...

One thing made me laugh..the sticking to it part, b/c I actually had to put a note up to remind myself, so I do not back down and forget, b/c life goes on and things get better and I do forget, but he knows not this time..I didn't last time either but just to be sure...

Of course, after he got everything taken away today, he was sweet as pie...being ever so helpful at dinner, cleaning up after himself w/o being asked...went to bed with no hassles...lots of hugs and kisses....he knows it NEVER makes me cave, but he gets so sweet anyway?

It's almost like he needs this grounding and yelling and the big family lecture as a reminder, and then he actually respects us for it! Of course kids crave and need structure at this age, but they are not supposed to recognize it and act lovingly for it! LOL LOL...

Either way, as I said, he truly is an amazing spirit and has a heart of gold, he just has no respect for things and it drives us insane. We work so hard to provide for our family and when he ruins things for fun, it destroys me.

No, I can't give him the "when I was a kid we walked two miles barefoot" lecture, but he has to realize and we make him aware ALL THE TIME how fortunate he is and how lucky we are we have each other, a nice home, nice things but they didn't come from luck, they came from hard work and many years of struggle and just last week he got a beautiful new skateboard bed from Rooms To Go and leaned his guitars on the front, and scratched the whole thing???

That is not a child that realizes the importance of treating things with care?

We instill that all the time.

Failing spanish? Not acceptable. He knows if he didn't understand we would help him, hire a tutor, do whatever we had to..he just doesn't want to do it.

He is a different child where as he needs attention, always looks to see who's watching when he does stuff, loves one on one attention, he's always been this way. He's lazy, he procrastinates.....alot of what I don't like about him, I see in myself, and I can't change myself, therefore I am harder on him...I do realize that, but he doesn't know these things about me.

My daughter is quite the opposite. She is a joy child, full of love, kindness, and a gentle soul...a great people person...so is he, but she doesn't require attention, she's scared to death if she misses one thing on a test (in first grade) and we don't put that pressure on her. She just cares about doing the right in most situations...

Such different children. We love them both, we are just not happy that in many ways, we don't like our son sometimes and that hurts to admit and makes us very sad. My husband was so disappointed in our son this weekend and his attitude and was very down about the whole thing.

I know the first thing we do wrong is take it personally. From everything I read, you can't take it personally, I know he loves us, but we DO TAKE IT PERSONALLY....

We need to work on that. If I do his laundry, and he goes to put it away, he'll just throw it in his closet b/c he's to lazy or busy to put it away....I could go on and on and on.....how he is a showoff, controlling, like to control and take over situations..he's so damn bright....

UGH..I'll leave it at that..if I think of any more suggestions short of boot camp for troubled youth, I'll let you know.

I just want to control this now before middle school. We've already the beginning of sex talk, the drug talk, MANY MANY MANY TIMES..........I just worry when middle school hits, when he decides to make the decision which group he will fit in, where will he go? He goes wherever they call him......

My baby, I just want him to do the right thing in life!
Ugh..I lose sleep over this stuff..I am reading a good book right now, surviving the rollercoaster years..even though I am not quite there yet, I want to be prepared....

Goodnight!





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