It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Parenting Issues Message Board

Parenting Issues Board Index

I donít want to be an alarmist, but you and your son really need to take action immediately. While this might be an isolated incident it might also be your first glimpse of the tip of an ugly iceberg your son is already dealing with.

If you donít prepare your son now, he wonít know what to do when it happens again. Do something ASAP, before a pattern is formed Ė once established, bully / victim relationships can last for years!

Adam Blum, author of The Total Bully Solution, has written numerous articles on this subject. Heís got some amazing insights, and excellent, practical suggestions about how you can help your son handle everything from name calling to intimidation to physical confrontations.

Iím telling you from my heart Ė do something NOW. The kids who were punished are just getting started; now theyíve got a grudge against your son.
I think that Randy and Dole brought up some good points. It is very difficult to know how to handle a situation like this in the best way. It is our first instinct to protect our kids, and reacting certain ways could only make things worse for our child. I agree with Dole about our kids not wanting to tell us everything because they don't want to be embarassed further by our actions. I think this is a good time to get your child into a counselor to which he can feel comfortable talking freely with. But in doing so, you must highly express to him that there is nothing wrong with him, at all, but there are very cruel children out there, and this may help him deal with those types of ugly people. That part is very crucial, as is finding someone that your son is comfortable with. The counselor may want to incorporate family counseling as well, which may open the lines of communication between you and your son, so he feels comfortable talking with you about these things if they occur again. I also agree with Randy in the fact that maritial arts will give him confidence, and teach self control. Of course, this is just my opinion, but I feel for you and your son.

Please let us know how this plays out.
Theres a lot more to the martial arts that I gained more then just self deffence. There are attributes in life I still have today at the age of 33.
As I said it gave me structure.
It taught me to reach for my goals.
When I started in grade 5 I was the fattest kid in school. After a year or so I became well shaped and went on to running track at school breaking many records in grade 7 as no goal was to high for me.
I ended up becomeing ranked number 2 for all of canada for my age group.
When I say confidance I mean in every aspect in life, When I say strength I mean emotionaly not physicly.
I lost my parents shortly into grade 7 but having build up all the strength, respect, structure and confidence that I needed to continue, from this is what got me through life. When I have a goal nothing can stop me. I was taught to push forward no matter what. Its amazing what type of life attributes you can gain from structure like this.
There are alot of kids now in your sons age group tending these programs, and most (dojo's) martial arts programs will let you sit in a couple classes first to see if your son is interested they will even let him try a class or two.
Maybe soccer or basket ball will best suite your son but I would give him the oppertunity to choose what he likes, so many parents make the choices for there kids and it affects there relationship later in life.
My incentive being fat (ha ha) was that after every class I got macdonalds, this gave me a lot of incentive, next thing you know I was practicing at home in my own time.
With this I was taught the importance of studies, I began watching martial arts movies and almost every movie teaches you how with important studies you can learn anythning next thing you know I was studing my school work 1hr a day after school.
I was not much into soccer football through out my life this doesn't suite every child.
I was almost kidnapped when I was young and martial arts saved my life.
I took a form called J.K.A. (Japan Karate Assosiation) and they are all over the world in most communities and the form comes straight from Japan, this is a very strict form, that gives you all this. Just look for the letters J.K.A. on there sign.

If you do go this route I would suggest just sitting in on the odd time and don't let your son know when you will be sitting in and watching him and less he invites you, this allows him to stretch his legs.
Again the thought of these bullies doing this to your son furriates me.
with this all being said I can say your son won't be embaressed to talk to you as he will be able to controll the situation on his own next time and be proud of his accomplishment as long as he is very clear that he is to only controll the situation not agrivate it or escalate it.

I realy hope all works out in what ever way you handle the situation, and I think these postes are not only helpfull to you showing you all the options out there, but they help anyone who reads them.
I am only sharing my opinion and it may not be the best route for you but it just shows you anouther option that is available to you and your son.
my grandparents use to secretly follow me to school and watch me in the playground and thats why they choose this method for me I was much of a loner thus making ma a easy target, but that all changed.
I found all this out many years later.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:24 AM.

© 2021 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!