It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Parenting Issues Message Board


Parenting Issues Board Index


I don't know why this message has gotten moved to this board....I was looking more for teenagers input on this subject.....I don't have parenting issues, I have more of a "teenage girl" issue....
Honestly, I don't think it is as simple as a "teenage girl" issue. I think it is more than that. I do think that you have a parenting issue.
Unfortunately, I don't have any advice for you. The problem sounds very complex. Hopefully, somebody else will have some advice to give. Have you talked to a therapist about your daughter? She sounds in need of help and support. Most teenage girls do not cut themselves. Cutting indicates a serious problem.
I put my mother through hell, your princess sounds like an angel ! lol :) But yes, this is completely normal of many, many teenagers. Take it from soemone whos been through it all. This is a very tough situation because shes going through the first stages of rebellion and there isnt much you really can do, unless you locked her in her room for the rest of her teenage years lol. Be prepared, things will probably get worse. Right now she is just experimenting. And you probably wont like what I have to say and maybe you'll even think Im crazy but at least take it into consideration. The people who know best are people who have actually lived through it (like me, so they know how to deal with it) or people that have dealt with it in the past successfully.

The truth of the matter is, you cannot control what she does outside of your home. She will do it either way and probably wont even think twice about having her computer getting taken away. To her, whatever she is doing is not even worth the computer and shes doing it because she thinks/knows she will get away with it. Taking her things away or punishing her is not a fix, its only temporary. Im not saying dont punish her, obviously you arent going to let her run around doing whatever she pleases.. but what Im saying is thats not the only and best way to go around it.

What you should do is give her a bit of space. The more you snoop through her things, try to butt into her life and try to control her, the more she will rebel and shut you out of her life and even worse, she may end up resenting you for it. Its about finding a balance between punishing her and understanding and helping her behavior and thats the most difficult part. You want to have her see you as a friend at this point, not an enemy. If shes having sex or thinking about having sex for example, instead of freaking out about it and grounding her right away and then kill yourself worrying, try to educate her about it and encourage her to be more open about it. You may think that you are encouraging her to have sex but like I said, in all reality she is going to do what she wants to do and you wont know about it until its already happened and you end up with a 14 year old preganant daughter. Remember, negative approaches usually have negative impacts. All you can do is guide her, let her make her own decisions and let her learn from her own mistakes. Shes going through a stage where she needs her mom and she needs to trust in her mom.
[QUOTE=MotherOfAPrincess;3930797]I don't know why this message has gotten moved to this board....I was looking more for teenagers input on this subject.....I don't have parenting issues, I have more of a "teenage girl" issue....[/QUOTE]


That is a good start...Us as parents can not determine what kind of thoughts are going through these children, so the best answer comes from someone of the same age bracket.....Cutting yourself is a sign of pain, wanting to release pain, so you can't conquer the world mom, just start slowly on what you can conquer...find out where the pain is coming from.....

The lesbian acts is getting out of hand w/ young teens...good luck on that one...even some of the Disney channels I have seen show that kind of behavior....
I am a high school teacher and I'm sorry but I don't agree that this is just typical teenage stuff. It sounds serious to me. She is going to extremes to try to fit in (or is it stand out in this case?) Did you make her take that stuff off her page? Why does she want people to think that she is so loose with her sexuality? That is one issue I'd try to talk to her about. What pay-off is she getting from it? Is it for attention? If so maybe you could try to re-direct it so that she can get attention from doing positive things rather than negative ones.
[QUOTE=trystme;3978140]I am a high school teacher and I'm sorry but I don't agree that this is just typical teenage stuff. It sounds serious to me. She is going to extremes to try to fit in (or is it stand out in this case?) Did you make her take that stuff off her page? Why does she want people to think that she is so loose with her sexuality? That is one issue I'd try to talk to her about. What pay-off is she getting from it? Is it for attention? If so maybe you could try to re-direct it so that she can get attention from doing positive things rather than negative ones.[/QUOTE]


You say you are a teacher then you would realize the peer pressure extends beyond drugs and smoking as so much is advertised about. Pressure on these kids are a lot harder than many of the adults think. The appearance of what you look like, the crowd you hang in, it goes on and on....It is so out of control that it is hard to be who you really are in school. I have a son that has long hair and is getting so much havoc at school that it is unreal, he loves rock and roll music, he is who he is, but he is slipping into thinking about cutting his hair changing who he is so the kids will like him better instead of looking at him like a outcast....So, maybe that is the issue here she is trying to fit in that she no longer knows who she is.....

Maybe finding out more of who she really is would be the main question and convincing her to not be like others but to be herself might be a start....She doesn't like the peer pressure and what she has become, obviously she is cutting herself and releasing the pain that way, so again find out who is the person deep inside.....





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:44 AM.





© 2022 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!