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Parenting Issues Message Board

Parenting Issues Board Index

i absolutely agree with cutting off the money supply!!! otherwise, you are just paying for her boyfriend's lifestyle and what's the point in that??? it's absolutely the right move there!

HOWEVER.... speaking from the perspective of one who has been in your daughter's shoes.... don't hate the boyfriend. the more you fight with her about the boyfriend, the more strained your relationship with your daughter becomes, the more she will cling to him and not let go.

my experience happened at exactly the same age as your daughter. he was a real loser, no money, no job, no car.... yep, i was stupid enough to pay for everything for him too. he fed me such crap all the time, and i was so stupid and i believed it all! the biggest load of crap he told me was about how mean my parents were to him when i wasn't in the room. it infuriated me! it drove such a wedge between me and my parents!!! he also isolated my from my friends and my siblings using the same methods. he was the devil!!! and my parents hated him and didn't bother hiding their feelings about him (which is why i believed him that they were mean to him).

anyway, because they hated him, and we fought all the time. after awhile, i knew he was horrible and that i needed to get away from him, but i didn't feel like i could leave him and go back to my parents because my parents and i were just fighting all the time (always about him, but at the time, i hadn't put it together.... i just thought they were being jerks). so i ended up staying with him a lot longer because of it.

so i'm just saying.... definitely cut off the money, but don't hate the boyfriend. you don't have to embrace the relationship, but make sure he doesn't come between you and your relationship with your daughter.

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