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Parenting Issues Message Board


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Thank you ALL for your input. I felt like closing the bank of Mom & Dad was the right way to go, and all of you have confirmed that. I appreciate hearing from both parents, and from withapurpose (who said she was my daughter 20 years ago). All of your information and support has confirmed my decision is the right one.

I totally agree that it's time to let her support herself because she will see very quickly just how hard it is. I figured out all of her bills that we arepaying right now, and even without her college tuition, she would have to work for 6 1/2 weeks FULL TIME to be able to pay them. When you add her tuition which totals about $13,000.00 each year, then there is NO way she will be able to pay her way- much less pay his way too.

One other thing that makes me madder than spit is the fact that he even once called her his "rich girlfriend", and again I have to tell you my husband and I are not rich. We do own our own business, BUT we earn a paycheck weekly like everyone else. I have a very tight budget and I have to stick to it and make our paychecks last. The company's money stays in the company- period. The way our daughter is just spending money on this guy would lead people to believe she is rich, but she isn't- WE AREN'T. If there is something special my husband and I want to buy, we have to save for it. We have always made our kids earn their money too. When they were younger they had to do chores to earn money, and as soon as our daughter was old enough to work part time, we made her get a job. Our 14 year old son actually works with hubby when he wants money. He's 14 and has worked and always puts money in his savings account. He has put over $2,000.00 in it in the past 2 years. He has never spent money like our daughter does. We have always tried to teach them the importance of working for what you want and saving as much as you can.

She is coming home tomorrow, and like I told her I'd do, I will be sitting down with her and showing her all of her bills that will have to be paid on time, and right now she will have to pay her car payment, cell phone bill and her auto insurance immediately because they are due next week. I don't think she will have enough money to do this since she's still blowing it on that jack donkey she's dating. If she can't pay then the car stays in the driveway, the cell phone gets cut off and she will have to take a cab to work.

I've never been the kind of parent to simply say I'm going to do something and not follow through. When I say something I mean it, and when I say there are consequences for certain actions, I back it up- period.

She will either grow up or she won't but we can not and will not support her when she doesn't want or isn't willing to help herself. And I know that if she does decide to leave and stay with him, she won't be there long. Like most of you said, he'll dump her when she can't support him. I've known this all along and so has my husband. She will NOT like not having her car, cell phone, and all the other things that make her life so easy.

Thanks again everyone. I really wish I could give all of the details about this guy and the crap he has pulled, but it would be a novel. I can tell you all get the idea though.

I appreciate and welcome all input!

PS- One reason I'm so hard core on this subject is because I've been there. I worked 2 jobs and went to school full time when my daughter was a baby because her biological father wouldn't keep a job (and was abusive to me). I wanted better for her. He is now MY EX!





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