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Parenting Issues Message Board

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[QUOTE=mizz cassie;4084452]thanks for the advice..i just didnt know what to do anymore so i appreciate it[/QUOTE]

Well beings I can honestly say I have been in your shoes(somewhat)..I moved out at 15 yrs of age. I learned real quick about the real world, luckily i was turning 16 in 3 months of leaving home. No one would give a job to a 15 yr old, and although I was on my own I found needing my mom for different things in life, but as far as anything materialistic I was on my own, like she said I wanted to play grown up so be it....

I would sit for hours in my room or try to find some place to go just to get away from not just her, but my family and dream of what it would be like on my own. It seemed as nothing I done was right, all my choices in life were stupid and I was made to feel that every time I left the house that it related to boys. I even got a job after school and she made me quit it because one of the other workers gave me a ride home (we lived in the country and my job was in town), she said that I was being a ho for getting a ride home and that I needed to quit the job, mind you my sister worked and nothing was said about it. Feeling the same way as you do, as a mature person I felt I knew how to hold my own and didn't need someone supervising my every move, and that my mom felt I would end up pregnant and the only reason I wanted so much freedom had to do w/ boys...Well, that was so far from the truth, I actually was a virgin up until 2 months prior of leaving home. I had different short term boyfriends(puppy loves) but did not sleep w/ them, but my mom and my siblings always called me degrading names in regards to as you speak of...Well, to make that story short in that field, I did not have my first child until I was 21, and my sister whom mind you was so perfect graduated high school at 8 months pregnant. After I left I had to find work, because my mom was no longer paying for my clothes or my little wants or needs, I had to make sure that I didn't screw up school especially if I wanted to make something of myself to prove not only to myself but my family I was not the loser they felt I was because I looked at life differently than they did.

Keep in mind that having a baby will not make you grow up, so don't try that as a escape away..

If you want to be an adult you need to make choices as an adult and with the issues w/ your mom, think about when you do become a parent and what you would expect from your child. Your mom is in the wrong for calling you names even if it is in fear that maybe you will become pregnant or a parents worst fear finding her daughter dead in a ditch, raped or whatever it may be, but a parent does worry and unfortunately she is worried but expressing it the wrong way. You should try and talk w/ her or write her a long letter in regards to your feelings, but also keep in mind that you are only 15 and what your mom is asking is nothing more than to treat her as a mom....A parent should know at all times where their children are, what if there was an emergency and you are no where to be found, what kind of mother would not know where her daughter is, your mom is only trying to be a good mom in that aspect.

How would you feel if your mom kept not being home and taking off and you had no idea where she is, something happened to you, car accident anything and they needed to contact her immediately and you saying I don't know where my mom is, you would be upset...Maybe come to a agreement that you will give her the respect as a mother should have, in return that she trust you, but remember you do have to earn that trust. You haven't really given great detail as to why she calls you names or doesn't trust you. Two females don't normally get along along in the same household, its normally a mother and daughter get close after they part. But, suggest family counseling and see if there is some way to solve the issues so it doesn't go as far as what mine did as moving out and on my own at 15, because even though playing house sounded fun, it wasn't....You've mentioned nothing about your dad, what does he say, and do you have siblings or are you a only child?

My mom never wanted us girls to end up struggling as she did and sometimes i think she seen a little of me in her and that is why she was on me so much so I would not make the same mistakes she did, i know we all have to learn from our mistakes, but sometimes listening to someone that has been down that road such as your mom is benifical. What younger people find as controlling at times is nothing more that someone that is caring and don't know how else to express it...Have you two ever seriously talked before?

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