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Parenting Issues Message Board

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I hope that this is the right board to post. Here is a run down of what led to this post. My son and I have always had a close relationship. He had always been respectful to me and loving. But he has dealt with pain and anxiety for several years. It runs in both his dads side and mine. He has had counceling for the anxiety and PT and pain medsand anti-anxiety meds (that he would only take for a few days and then stop). Never long term. He used to be in multiple sports and school clubs and was a staight A student, but has quit all of them and doesn't try to get good grades any more. He made up this ridiculous story last spring that he was taking drugs and I got him 2 very good child psychologists. He tried to convince them that he needed to go to rehab. His drug use did not make sense to them, because he wasn't explaining reactions and use and amounts in a way that was even possible. So we randomly tested him and he was negative. He finally admitted that he made it up, he was dealing with too much anxiety at his school and just wanted out and thought that if he went to residential rehab where they live he wouldn't have to go to that school anymore. I switched him to a different school, and he did better.
I also went through a divorce a year ago. And my son lost the step-dad that he called Dad and Loved (my husband had an affair). My son wanted me to divorce his SD atthe time, until 6 months after the divorce was final, then he decided that he wanted to live with my x ( not his real Dad) instead of me. It has been a year and he still wants to live with his x SD. I moved us 1000 miles away 4 months ago. And my son is not adjusting well, and keeps telling me thathe wants to go live his x SD. His x SD has said no. So that is a quick update w/o going on and on.
Here is the problem... My son is treating me terrible at moments, and nice other times & I don't know if this is normal or not (only child so nothing to compare to). I know all of it is not, but what should I chalk up to teenager and what should I not. Things he is doing...
He pisses all over the bathroom, on the rug, the waste basket, the floor. He won't shut the bathroom door when he is using it. And he won't flush the toilet. He doesn't say thank you most of the time, he just expects me do for him. He cleans up after him self sometimes, but most of the time not. I am a single Mom and he is 17 and he won't help me with anything, mowing, cleaning, cooking, my battery was dead in my car and he wouldn't help me jump it with his truck. I had to do it myself. He won't get up for school unless I get him up. If I don't get him up he doesn't go. he won't even set an alarm. He won't get a job because he says that working is wrong and that society is all screwed up and he shouldn't have to do something that he doesn't want to do to survive. and he says that I get child support and that I wouldn't get that if it wasn't for him. He says rude things in front of me even though I tell him constantly not to. What he does do. He comes home from school and tells me about his day and his classes. He will p/u some stuff sometimes. He walked to the store the other day to buy milk for me. He cleaned the bathroom last night after I got mad about the pee. He says he doesn't do it on purpose. He mowed the lawn for 10 dollars. His idea. Yes he has chores that he gets paid for, but usually he doesn't do them. So I don't give him money. except for school lunch.
He hasn't made any friends here where we moved because of his social anxiety and I have caught him crying and it makes me feel so bad. He tells me that he sits outside by himself during luch because he's too shy to sit at a table. He is on his my space and texting with his friends back home and doesn't go anywhere here at all. So we get on each other'snerves. I also have been laid off from my job that I just moved here for and can't find another one. So I am dealing with that stress too, and would appreciate his help. Any advice would help. Thanks, Lisa

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