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Parenting Issues Message Board

Parenting Issues Board Index

I've been married for over a year to my soulmate, who has a child from a previous relationship. Her mother left and never came back when she was five years old. She's been raised by both my husband and his aunt since then. When we got together about three years ago, she became closer to his aunt and started calling her mommy. She was sleeping in the same room with her for months, and wouldn't stay overnight with us at all. She was really nervous about us getting married to the point that she told her dad she didn't want us getting married and he got really upset about it as did I. Anyway, we got married and things seemed to be going better for a long while. She went back to her own room and started to stay with us every other weekend (she lives next door with my husband's aunt and his grandmother). Then she started being antisocial again and not wanting to stay with us or anyone else. She's also had a lot of trouble with friends, not having them for long and not getting along with some people at school. She's also against us having any children, at one time threatening to move to Canada if we had any. Recently, things have become worse. The subject of kids came up again through her (she wondered why we wouldn't just adopt a kid her age to play with), and it escalated to the point that she said if we had babies, she would just kill them. I was devastated and so was my husband and his aunt and we let her know that it was not okay that she said that. Then another issue came up with a friend of hers at school. They had met people online through a game they were playing and it got the point that it came up at school. The account was suspended, and it later came out that she had a met a woman online and asked that woman to be her mom. I guess my question is, it seems like her issues are getting worse and my husband and his aunt don't seem to be doing anything about it. I think she desperately needs therapy, and I'm worried sick about her. Am I overreacting? Am I not understanding her abandonment issues? I just don't get why she'd ask a stranger online to be her mother. My husband doesn't see that there's anything wrong with that, and I'm worried she's going to have to do something drastic before he gets her the help she needs. Of course, it may not come to that and I might be severely overreacting to the whole situation. I just want to do what's best for her and I don't think she's a bad kid at heart. Please help me if you can.

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