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Parenting Issues Message Board

Parenting Issues Board Index

First off, I am not exactly answering your question about your son hitting himself. I would not know what to do about that either but maybe somebody else can give you some help with that. I am looking at the underlying problem here and this is what I have to say:
Is your son really smart? On honor roll or gifted class at school? The way you describe your son sounds like my 10 year old son (with the exception of hitting/my son cries easily instead). My son argues with me as well. I don't mean the normal arguing; i am talking PERSUASION. Before I found out he was 'gifted' I thought that he was being disobedient and backtalking. Now I know that this is just part of his character.(Not that he gets treated any differently because I don't use him being gifted as a justifyable means NOT to punish him) It does help me understand him better though. He can be very annoying sometimes and when I yell at him about something, he HAS to explain to me why he did something. Usually I find out that he had a very good explanation and reason and was not at fault. He is a very good boy and rarely does anything to displease me. Like I said though, he is not bad, just annoying. I have to tell him five times to keep his feet still while we are on the couch watching TV.
It kills him every time he gets in trouble. If he doesn't get the opportunity to tell me his side of the story and why he did it, he will go to his bed and cry until he is able to finally tell me what is on his mind. (sometimes an hour or two after the fact)(Not about trivial things like keeping his feet still but other things.)
I think your son is also very sensitive as well. My advise to you is to talk to your son about his feelings. Always leave the communication door wide open so he doesn't have to bottle his emotions.
Here is a list of Gifted Characteristics:

1. Verbal Fluency
Heightened perceptual skills
2. An acute sensitivity, empathy for others
3.A preference for complex ideas and/or tasks that provide challenge
4.A dislike for routine
5.An unusual ability to see relationships
6.A curious, investigative mind, full of questions
7.A strong interest in problem solving and desire to develop structure
8.Full of ideas with an openness to new ideas and experiences
9.An imaginative, fantasy-creating mind
10.An ability to persist, to become "immersed" in a task
11.A tendency toward dominance, individualism, and self-criticism
12.A strong need to be self-directed, independent
13.A persistent and strong sense of humor
14.A broad and changing spectrum of interests

Does this sound like your son?(doesn't have to have all the characteristics listed to be gifted)I thought Numbers 2,6, and 11 sounded like your son from your post. If so, here is another link:

I may be totally off track about your son. If so, I am sorry and hope someone else can provide you with an answer.

Or maybe I have helped someone else identify their son or daughter.(Believe me, I never thought I would have a gifted son!)

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