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Parenting Issues Message Board

Parenting Issues Board Index

Well, first off my name is Laura and i'm 16 year old, almost 17. I can't say that I know your daughter, but I can help you with a few things.

When I was 12 I was raped at an innocent sleepover gone wrong. From then on life was hell. I gave my parents hell and they never knew why. I hated everyone and everything for years. I hated myself. I never told anyone about the rape until I was 15. My mother and I had a fight one day. We had a serious talk after the fight and I broke down on my mother, telling her everything. I now see a therapist and a psychiatrist regularly. I am coming terms with the rape and I now respect my parents. Things are a lot better.

My point is, It's very hard being a teenager these days. The world is so dangerous. There's so much that's probably going on in your daughters head. I'm not saying that she's been victimized, but try to have a heart to heart with her. Find out what she's really feeling and what's going on in your daughter's head.

All I really wanted from my parents was their patience, understanding and love. I wanted rules. All children want rules and guidance. Along with the love and understanding there must be rules. Once I got those things from my parents things have gotten batter and better. Life is not so chaotic. Just try to understand your daughter and tell her that you're sorry she's hurting. Tell her that what she does hurts you. Let her know that you are there for her.

Yes, teenage girls may seem crazy to you adults, but underneath all that chaos and hate is just a little girl that wants your love.

As for the boyfriend aspect...let your daughter have the freedom to date, but tell her that if she is to date then she must follow your rules. Just keep an eye on your daughter. Someday she will understand. Most, but not all guys my age are very decietful...and most girls my age trust too openly. Your daughter will learn from the choices she makes. As long as she learns from growing up then she will be fine.

As for the things your daughter has been doing on the computer, do nto tell her that you have been spying on her. That will just make more chaos in the household. Yes, I do understand that you have the right to keep an eye on her but keying her into what you are doing will just make her trust you less. My suggestion is that you move the computer to the living room or an open room so that you can watch her activity. If that doesn't work take the internet away from her. A person can live without the internet.

I hope this helps you.


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