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Parenting Issues Message Board


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My parents are completely unreasonable. I am sure many parents out there have heard this before. I am being serious though. Just the other day, i was with some friends and i wasn't allowed to stay the night anywhere. I had to be home at 1:00. I fell asleep and i was supposed to wake my friend up, but she fell asleep. My friend doesn't have a house phone and my cell phone was dead. The next morning i was scared and so i got my friend up and she took me to a pay phone. I had 4 voicemail messages and they were all from my mom. I was told on one of them that she had called the police and that they were searching for me. Initally, i came home after i got off the phone and went home. When i came home my mom was pissed off. I understand. I couldn't help the situation because i fell asleep. I get my lisence June 17. My grandma is usually the instigator in all of my mom and dads fights. This time she told me that she hoped my mom grounds me for the summer and hopes my mom won't let me get my lisence. I am so mad because what could i do? I apologised for my action.
See, my mom and i really don't get a long at all. Our relationship is a game. If i screw up, she finds a way to get me back. I am 17 and i want freedom, but if i screw up once, im grounded. None of my friends get grounded, she chooses my friends for me and it rediculous. She thinks everyone should feel bad for her and *****es all the time. I was always gone, not to avoid my house, but the *****in is all towards me. If she has a bad day, or a headache, i am the cause. I am a senior now and i have no life because its all drama. Most of my friends don't really hang with me anymore because they think my parents are crazy. She tells me that its not her problem. I am so tired of it and i just need advice on what to do. please help!

Katie
To all who responded:

I am saying my parents are outta control with punishments. Honestly, I did fall asleep, the friend that I was with is a very nice girl who doesn't have much. She doesn't have a telephone and my cell phone is still dead today because my mom took my charger so i couldn't call anybody and she took my telephone.

In other words, i love my parents and i know i have screwed up in the past and they always assume that i am lying and i have been very honest with my mom for about 6 months. I had a lot of problems then and my mom kept me grounded for 3 months with no telephone or any remote source to talk to anyone. Imagine sitting all by yourself in a room with no one to talk to and think in your head that your parents hate you. I did.

The point is that my mom and i have never really gotten along since i was about 13. Its like she takes me the wrong way and i take her the wrong way. I love my mom, but i can't ever confide in her. I am afraid to tell her things, if i tell the truth about a situation, she explodes. I couldn't tell her that i lost my virginity. We have been in fights that arent even worth fighting, its more like a competition to see who can make the other one feel the worst. Counceling is out the window, because she yells at me everytime it comes up. Hell freezes over at my house when we are fighting.

I don't expect my mom to be my best friend, but i just want to know why i can't talk to her about the private things. If i'm sad, i can't tell her why. I was such a mommy's girl, i was her 2nd person. I love her and she tells me, "YEA RIGHT". I can't say i love you cause i feel weird.

Anyways, i just want some answers on how to deal with issues, there is only so much you can handle, and when it s your own mom, its harder. Im' at the end of my rope.

Katie
Hey~ i'm 19 years old..but when i was 17 i told my parents i'm sleeping over at a friend's house but i went out to party instead~ they tried calling me for the WHOLE night because one of the other parents were trying to find their daughter~ so my parents called me..and i wouldn't pick up the phone because i was partying! they were WORRIED SICK!! I was sooo sorry when i called back the next morning (excuse saying that i fell asleep..but i'm not saying you are lying)~ They say they believe me (i doubt..but they rather trust me than doubt me)~ Your parent's are just worried! maybe grounding you might not be the greatest punishment..but HEY~ deal with it! I mean..of course when i'm punished i'll cry and moan and complain..but atleast i dealt with it! everyone i know dealt with it although we are always complaining! Believe me..i love my parents~ and right now..i'm happy that they were strict on me~ i had to be home by 11 on weekends~ and 6 on weekdays~ but then..i know if they didn't give me a limit..i would go WAY OVER BOARD! Plus..it's really your fault that you overslept (although you didn't intend to oversleep) ~ but they TRUSTED you! I was stealing and lying to my parents when i was 14..and i got caught~ it took me like a LOOONG time to gain back my parent's trust~ (sorry to say..i still abuse their trust in me by a bit of fibbing here and there)^^ wells..my point is..be good when you are grounded..when they see..they might give you a little more freedom and gain a bit trust back :)





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