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Parenting Issues Message Board

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have a huge delima and maybe someone can give me some helpfull advice.

I have a 6 year old nephew, and from the time he was born to now he has had a traumatic life.
He was conceived unexpectedly and my brother wanted to do the "right" thing by marrying the mother because her parents were catholic and she already had one child out of wedlock.
It was the wrong thing. They fought constantly and my nephews mother loved to drink and scream. My brother was the oppisite, calm and quiet and shy.

My nephew did ok, he started talking at a year old, but one night my brother and his wife got into a terrible argument, (screaming match, who knows what my nephew saw that night.)My brother left as he couldnt take anymore.
After this my nephew stopped talking for almost 2 years.

Now, my brother is dovorced from that woman and happily married again to a woman with 2 children.
The problem is, my nephew started school and things are going horribly.

He is very impatient and hyper. He is mean and disrespectfull and angry, and he has little social skills.
Everyone sees him as the bad kid.
He gets no discipline at his mother house during the week or attention. He pretty much gets up early and goes outside to play, and doesnt come in until dark, with no supervision all day. He is very self reliant.

My mom and I however, know him like no one else and know what he went through.
He can be the sweetest kid if he is in one constant environment with one set of rules.
Too bad this environment is not availible.
His parents go back and forth over issues concering everything from money, to his schooling.

My brother pays child support, plus extra that he doesnt even have to give her, and his mother still complains.
She even says stuff to my nephew about it.

My brother has insurance on him, but his mother still wants them to take him to every doctors appointment and pay the copay.

His mom tells him to tel my brothers wife(of 3 years) that he doesnt have to listen to her because she isnt his mother and that he doestn have to do anything they say because he will tell his mom.

My nephew went through kindergarden last year and did not excel. My brother and his wife would work with him on the weekends and he would learn alot, but his mother wouldnt do anything with him during the week.
He doesnt know hiw whole alphebet and when he writes he often writes letters backwards.
Even the letters in his name.
He also has a very bad memory when it comes to acedemics.

We beleive he has some sort of learning disability, maybe dislexic.
The problem is...his mom will NOT get him any help.
My brother tries to talk to her and she says that it is from him being premature.
My brother went to the school to find out when conference was so he could talk with the teacher about it, and he found that he was not even on my nephews emergency card. His mother had put his stepfather as his father on the card and they told my brother he couldnt change it because she filled out the card, not him.
They went to the attorney and he says that they cant do anything because the mother has all the rights, and unless she is doing something abusive they wont get far in court.

My nephew is two weeks into his REPEATED year of kindergarten and he says he hates it because it is boring and not fun.

I think he just doesnt understand what they are trying to teach him and he doesnt have any friends because of his lack of social skills.

He is actually shy and has low self esteem. Sometimes he will say things like, "I dont like my head, its ugly."
or i will tell him to take off his shirt to go swimming and he says, "nooo, everybody will look at me, and im fat." (he is nooot fat.)

I am completely upset and at a loss for what to do.
I cant watch my first born nephew, my baby, have his life screwd up because his mother isnt mature enough to grow up and take care of her kid.

I dont know what else to do.

I was thinking about going to his school myself but I dont even know if I would be able to talk to his teacher because im not a parent.

It is breaking my heart.

any suggestions?

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