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Parenting Issues Message Board


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[QUOTE=writeleft;4813549]I completely understand your need to advocate for your s/O, his condition's number one feature is the difficulty with communication to be difficult, and he deserves to have a voice, through whatever means he feels most understood. As you mention, in this case it is you, but there are others who have to go to other measures to find an appropriate 'voice" for them too.

I have found myself in the position as well, as a friend of a man dying of alcoholism. We were not in any relationship at all, but I needed to help him get medical attention, and I did. I simply had the time and energy to help him with all the paperwork, and take him to the doctors. He did eventually die within months, but it was in a clean bed, with a belly full of food, not in pain, and left this earth with dignity.

I admire you for the compassion you obviously have, and it is people like you who are the unsung hero's. I am here to support you in your efforts to give those children a fighting chance, and to ease the mind of your S/o. He must think of you as an angel. He really has his work cut out for him self, and thank you for helping him.

I will be following along to see what happens next. Whatever you do, do it from your heart and goodness will prevail.

Janet[/QUOTE]
Wow..Thanks so much, it is hard, but he does need a voice, and Im sure if anyone at all ..till this point had really helped him, then the many times he spend in the hospital with depression so bad he was catatonic along with the attempted suicide many years ago may never had happened. When we met, the good outweighed the bad in so many areas in our relationship, he is not like any typical man I know, and Im grateful, with my support he has held down his longest job ever( 4yrs) bought a house with me and doesn't need to have his kids all sleep in one bed somewhere with cockroaches as his disability check could not provide for much more..he had almost nothing when we met..he didn't even work. His whole family has so many issues and many with AS that this is why I feel no one knew how to help or advocate for him..His ex no longer calls him and says you need to come here and do the laundry as its your kids too..no..and I give him the credit for his milestones for sure, as they were so very hard for him just to say..no I wont..he would almost be having an anxiety attack attempting to deal with anything directly with her..,we all need a push at times. He has has only one meltdown that left him 100% disabled in the past year and of coarse running away from life for a few days unable to work or come out from under a blanket, his dark place, but only one...the first year we were together it was every three weeks...I felt at that time I was losing my mind, as the in between had me with the man of my dreams..He has since continued to pass milestones and his family tells me he is no longer the " shell o a man" she made him with her abuse against him...although always crying that its her who is the victim( and havin ppl believe her as he just walks away and says nothing) As his life is improving so are his children benefiting because of it, I nudge him along that all..but I cant give up, I dont.
Yes I give alot, I have incredible amounts of endurance and passion for doing the right thing, Im a survivor of years of my own sexual and physical emotional abuse, many near death incidents at the hands of my stepfather from 12 & under, including watching unspeakable abuse against my own mother, may overdoses including watching her get shot when I was ten( yes she survived) ...Ive spent many counselling sessions trying to figure out how to deal with my past, and have succeeded because somehow I had the strength to do so I know God has been by my side then and now, no other explanation for that. .I cant stand for neglect and abuse against anyone..I no longer let fear rule my life, and I believe the strength God gave me to endure is now what I found to give others.
I applaud you for your courageous story, and thank you for your kind words..life isn't perfect by any means, he makes me insane at times..lol..I do not always feel strong and its sites like this that help me get thru the tough times and at times help me decide what the best thing is to do..Thanks so very much.





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