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Parenting Issues Message Board

Parenting Issues Board Index

My sons age 11 to 24 and I shower together when we camp, or use the cabana, we have always showered together at home when it was appropriate. I feel that boys need to be comfortable with men and each other as they will be in sports, away camps, the military and being naked with your peers and it should not be a phobic experience. In my case, from 11-24 we all have a penis, with varying sizes, and shapes and amounts of hair. The younger guys get a chance to see what they will look like as they mature, and ask questions amongst males they trust and love. Many of the boys get excited at the newness and get an erection, and we always say, well son ur becoming a man, what is happaning is normal, dont be ashamed. We all have a healthy respect for each other and no fears or shyness. If my son has a question about his sex organs he feels comfortable letting dad or big brother take a look and reassure him everything is ok.

My best friends son came to me with a question about a "thing" that appeared on his penis and he could not talk to his dad about it because of these sex fears. I asked my friend if he would give me permission to talk to the boy and take a look, and he said it was OK. The boy let me look and it was just a pimple. He felt so safe and so happy that he didnt have to go to the doctor and be fondled by an old nurse. He has showered with all of us at the beach and camping, so hes not phobic with my sons who are all his buddies. In short, dont make boys into shy little wimps. All kids will be curious, most will compare their penises in private, alot will even masturbate together, its all normal kids growing up, give them their space and their privacy and they will grow up healthy and happy boys. When you make the penis a forbidden object is when all the fears and phobias come into the scenario.

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