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Parenting Issues Message Board


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ok, I'm revisiting my older post becauase tho' I've been patient with this woman, I'm about to ring her neck. I'm really getting sick of her referring to herself as my daughters mom. I'm sick of her telling my daughter "mommy misses you", I'm sick of her signing permission slip for school activities that I never know about, taking her to dr. appts that I do not know about, making parent teacher conferences with her teachers that I do not know about, and pushing me out of my daughters life. If something doesn't happen soon, I'm going to drop her like a sack of potatoes!!!! Ok, I'm done venting. Ug.
OK, when my husband and I had Joint physical custody of our daughter, I was the PRIMARY physical custodian. which meant.... "In the event that the parents cannot come to a harmonious agreement regarding the minor child, the primary physical custodian will have the final decision making ability. You need to put your foot down. My daughter used to come home from her dads telling me that her step mom told her to call her mom. And she said she didnt say anything. I asked her if she wanted to call her mom and she said not really. I told her, "Then you tell heather that you already have a mom and would rather call her heather." She said that heather told her that if she wasn't going to call her mom then she could call her Mrs. XXX. What a Bit**! So right then and there I went from letting dad and step mom have her 50/50 to every other weekend. thats it. I was not about to have my daughter raised by another woman, and I certainly didn't want my daughter to feel like she had to do ANYTHING this woman wanted out of fear.

So, you can type up an e-mail to her step mom, explain to her that she is ,in fact, a STEP parent. thats all. Excercize your right as her primary physical custodian, and go to every other weekend visits until she agrees to back off. YOU are her mother. YOU should be signing all paperwork, handling dance classes, etc.. etc... I think you should make an itemized list of examples so that the stepmonster isn't confused as to what your reasoning is. This is her clearly over stepping her boundaries. Control freak or not, this is your daughter. your daughter!!!!!!!! Fight for her. I guarantee she will thank you in the end. And I'll bet when you have her the majority of the time, a lot of stuff is going to come to light. Record every conversation she has with her to cover your butt.... I guarantee you will be able to prove to an attorney later that she is trying to maipulate and control your daughter.

Make a seperate list for yourself of every single thing she has done, ESPECIALLY MEDICALLY, without your consent or knowledge. Get copies of all her medical records so you can see where she signed as her mother. Thats also proof. God, I could go on forever. I'm angry for you right now. I am so on your side with this it isnt even funny.

Correction, don't send an email to her. Typeit up, print it and send it certified mail. that way you know she got it. Be very specific as to how you think she is controlling and trying to pit your daughter against you. Her behavior in inexcusable and unacceptable! Dont be a doormat. i gotta hand it to you, I would have knocked her teeth down her throat already!!!!!!!!!!! Read and reread that letter a hundred times before you send a final draft. Its like two bucks to send it certified. Good luck. Keep me updated. I am so interested in this and have been through it. Run anything past this board that you arent sure of, and i'll def check it out. hugs to you!!!!!!!
Hi, I was wondering if your situation with your daughter has improved. I have 2 daughters and they both favor their step mom over me. They are both in their 20s and I have been divorced for 10 years. This woman is sneaky. She is the loud aggressive type and I am passive yet assertive. Their father and step mom are financially secure. I am not, but I have given them what they have wanted, but I never felt like I was competing when it came to financial status.
I just do not understand what I did to drive them away from me. I feel like I have been played by my daughters and now they want nothing to do with me and everything is my fault. I just don't understand how they can justify defending her and making me out to be wrong or the bad person. The step mom never had children so she stepped right into a family and has succeeded in tearing it apart.
After reading your story, I had to respond, I know it's several years later...but I was just wondering if anything has changed for you?





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