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Parenting Issues Message Board

Parenting Issues Board Index

First, I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a family member is such a terrible thing to have to go through. I pray you and your family will find peace through this trial.

Second, I have to apologize for my earlier post. My gosh, I always sound like this extremely annoying know-it-all type (it's something I have to work on!), and the reality is, I am just as lost as any other parent out there! I just happen to be pretty good with[I] other people's kids[/I]! Ask me what to do with my own kids, and I'm fairly clueless! :D BUT, I'm learning more every day.... that's what this parenting thing is all about! It gets hard and frustrating at times, and we are so worried about every single choice we make for them, because we love them so much and they are so sweet and beautiful and innocent, we don't want to mess that up! Anyway, so I am sorry if I sounded like this, "I know so much more than you...." kind of person. I'm just trying to figure it out one day at a time, same as you. :)

I'm glad things are getting better with your boys. I love the piggy bank idea. My family just started something similar, and they're working towards Chuck E. Cheese too! We use jars (plastic ones!) and pinto beans, though. I used to try money, but I NEVER remembered to pick up more change for the money jar, so we got very inconsistent with it. Pinto beans are cheap to buy in bulk, they last forever, and after they fill up their jar, you can dump them back into the bean jar and use them again (so forgetful parents like myself don't have to keep apologizing for not having any change!). Anyway, I just thought I would share that with you.

Also, big WOW! It's very impressive that you've already gotten both of your boys potty trained! That's quite the accomplishment! Potty training one kid is hard enough!

What I said about getting your son back into his own bed? Well, I have to apologize there, because I neglected to mention that I was speaking from personal experience! My now 6 year old started sleeping in my bed with me when she was not quite 3, and her daddy was deployed. I got lonely and would actually go get her sometimes and bring her to bed with me! BAD MOMMY!!! She ended up sleeping in our bed every single night all the way up until she started Kindergarten this year! Thankfully, she almost always started out in her own bed, but around 10-11, she'd come wandering into my room.... it put a strain on my relationship with my husband.... nothing too terribly noticeable, but just that underlying tension that was always there. So when I said you need to get him back to his own room, it's because I made that mistake and paid dearly for it! You don't sleep as well, he doesn't sleep as well (which will lead to more aggression and acting out), hubby doesn't sleep as well.... it's just better for everyone if he doesn't get into that habit. So I'm not judging or being a know-it-all, just offering friendly advice based on my own experience and not great judgment!

Last thing.... I noticed in your earlier posts here that you and another poster (sorry, I can't remember the name!) were talking about you needing down time and getting a sitter, or daycare? I totally agree with you needing down time, but I totally understand not wanting to leave the boys with strangers! I am the same way! I'm only just starting to leave my 17 month old with friends (really good friends) for a few hours at a time! I'm just over protective that way! So what I do for down time, is I make sure my kids get a good 2 hour rest every day, including weekends (they don't have to sleep, they just have to be in their rooms reading or trying to sleep.... no tv, because that keeps their brains stimulated and they can't settle down.... and they go to separate rooms, not together in the same room. My kids share a room, so at rest time, one ends up in my room). AND, I put my kids to bed between 7-7:30 each night. That way, I have a good several hours (I never go to bed until around midnight) to myself. I love my evenings. It's a good time for me to relax, unwind, straighten things up, get ready for the next day, and relax and unwind some more.... and all mostly uninterrupted (they're kids, they do get up on occasion!). It's also a great time for me and my husband to spend time together, as well.

Anyway, that's all. I hope your days continue getting better. And again, prayers for you and your family for your loss.

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