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Personality Disorder Message Board

Personality Disorder Board Index

Jan 16, 2003
Thank goodness I found this board!!!! I found it while looking for information about l-theanine. I'm sorry but I know this is going to a bit long, but will try to keep it short and since I'm from little country town...talking to people here is pointless..I've tried lol.

I'm mom to a 28 month old. Very smart and gets into tons of stuff. I had postpartum depression soo bad and finally went when my kid was 9 months to my ob/gyn. He put me on 5mg of prozac and it didn't work for me...feel like it ran me crazy, I would lie in bed at night and my mind was racing so bad from one thought to the other. I have been very skeptical about going back to a Dr. for help due to the fact that my ob/gyn thought I was experiencing postpartum depression and didn't want to leave the house because and I QUOTE "you may not like to get out and are a little depressed because you baby is so white" LMAO, because I'm in an interracial marriage and my daughter does look white even though I'm not. He's an Indian doctor, so it didn't outrage me too bad.

Now on to now. I feel like I'm totally flaking out. I can't remember anything hardly. I feel like I'm living in a fog. I hate everyone around me except for my family and close relatives. I feel like any one who tries to be my friend is doing so with harm in mind and won't even give them a chance. When I go into public places I feel like the place is closing in on me and become very ill. I can't get to sleep without a sleeping pill but I'm tired and ran down. Some days I'm happy go lucky and the next day I feel like if my child gets into one more thing I'm gonna run off and leave her with hubby.

When I'm happy I'm happy, but when I'm mad I'm mad. I do credit myself though when it comes to punishing my child. If I'm extremely mad I just usually scream at her to stop and don't spank her. I only spank when I feel I'm not mad.

It has been rough being a mom for me and I feel that with each year I'm literally starting to fade away and each day is foggier. She still doesn't sleep through the nights yet and was always awake as a newborn. It has been so bad that we've decided no more kids. I love her dearly and I'm not at all blaming her for this. I breastfeed for 16 months and I think that stirred up some hormones or something. I don't know, but I haven't been the same since. Also lucky me has a hubby who is on second shift and has been the entire time, so it's me alone.

I can't remember things people tell me and I can't remember simple words lots of times... My sex drive is either in super high mode or look at me in that way and I'm gonna curse ya out.

There's lots more but I don't want to blind you guys with all of the reading. Could someone please tell me what you think. I'm opting for alternative meds because I don't have time to pay one of our backwoods Dr.s to tell me something stupid.

Thanks alot for this board

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