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Personality Disorder Message Board

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Re: Do I Have BPD?
Apr 16, 2003

Matty- it's zuzu yet again!
I think it would be good to stay on the "Open To All Topics Board" where you already posted and have a lot of responses...and keep the thread going there. Otherwise we're going to lose track of you, although I do understand posting in as many places as possible, hoping to get some answers!
I don't think you have BPD...but I do think you are depressed and anxious and as a result extremely self-conscious. Self-consciousness and worrying about fitting in and what others think of us makes it hard to be ourselves and therefore hard for people to know the REAL you. Why would you want to be like anyone else? I personally would want to know the real MATTY, not a copycat of someone else's "style". You say you're starting to make friends. THEY must like your personality! As I suggested on the other board, it would be so great for you to try to talk to a therapist....There are SO many people who feel unloved, rejected, inadequate...but these are FEELINGS, and so often nothing to do with the reality of a situation. There is nothing ":wrong" with the feelings you have except that they make you so unhappy. A good therapist can help you sort out what's bothering you the most and help you start feeling so much better. You need to talk to a professional, someone who can listen without judging you, who will totally support everything you feel and say, who will make you feel 'safe" and help giude you toward ways of thinking and things to act on that will truly make you feel happier in general and more accepting of yourself in particular. It can actually be freeing and fun. Where else can we talk just about ourselves, non-stop, without being censored for a whole hour???? See you back on the Open To All Topics Board!
P.S. The film you make up in your head when you are bored is not abnormal at all. Lots of people do this. Creative people "daydream". The the ACT of daydreaming is fine... Does it calm you? Make you feel good? Then GOOD... It's only a problem if the images you invoke disturb you and you find them interfering in your daily life to the exclusion of all else. That's where a good therapist comes in. You're going to be fine....

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