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Personality Disorder Message Board

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I don't want to offend anyone,but i need some advice. I keep thinking i have a borderline personality because it explains the way i have bin for the past 3 years.Is This right? People become borderline because they didnt have a secure child hood.As a result of this, don't know how to deal with being an adult.What i relate to me is i always felt different when i was a kid.I never listened or beleived in anything my parents would tell me.I would look at the way they would live there life and not want to be anything like them.I never placed myself with my family(if that makes any sence).I felt more confatable and happy with my best freinds family.Being around them give me the confadants and reasurance i needed for me to be the way i wanted to be.I acted stupid and dum even thou I think i am quite intelligant,but all i was bothered about was being center of attention. if i were'nt i would get very jelious and would copy parts of that persons personality.I would then end up hating that person even if they were good mates.

It was coming to the end of school and everyone was deciding what to do next. I thought everything would go exactly as i planned but i has'nt.I become lost and confused.The things that made me, me had gone and i could'nt understand why i felt so different.

I always felt as if i needed other peoples presents to give me identity,and i still do now some times.Is this just a lack of self confadance? Or is the making of bpd?I find it very confusing because since leaving school i have blamed everyone and thing around me to explain my mess.I was jumping to stupid conclutions that only i would beleaive to be real.There was no one there to tell me how stupid i was being and get my mind of myself.I never listened to my parents at all and where i was so confused i never told any of my freinds. I bleived i should'nt be feeling this way and tried to keep up the same act i played at school.

After being in this mess for so long i begun to get very anixious(espcially out with people).I got depresed (because i didnt know what was wrong with me)and very selfcontuase.This all led to ocd.

Im still in a mess because i don't know what to think.I just carn't seem to get myself togeather.Im confused everything, what i want to do with my life and about who i really am.I go from one job to the next but carn't settle down witn one thing because my mind and mood change so much about who i am.I mean what is my problem? I know everyones got there own problems but can anyone please give me some advice and there veiws on me having a borderline personality disorder.

[This message has been edited by dan30606 (edited 07-14-2003).]

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