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Personality Disorder Message Board

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I am so MEAN!
Jan 13, 2003
Hi Everyone.

I am so ashamed of myself - I am MEAN to everyone - especially my boyfriend.

For the past three days (ESPECIALLY FRIDAY) I did nothing but yell at my boyfriend for reason's he didn't deserve. I yelled at my sister - I yelled at my mom.

I am so hurtful. I say something HORRIBLE, like "You don't know about half the stuff you talk about - you just make it up to sound smart - which you aren't" (I said this to my boyfriend for some reason). And then a couple hours later - I say "Oh, sorry about that" but see, the damage has ALREADY been done - and I worry that it's going to take a lot more than "Sorry" to fix all the crappy things I've said over my life time.

How can you fix something like that (which isn't even the half of it - just picture a couple days along the same line...)

Basically I have these nasty temper tantrums - and everyone else suffers - then I want to take all back like it was no big deal.

How could I be so mean? I'm totally hurting the ones I love...and it's not on purpose, I just can't help it for some reason.

Re: I am so MEAN!
Feb 12, 2003
Oh my goodness - sadly, that sounds exactly like what I do. I am constantly telling my boyfriend he is 'crushing me' or smothering me or doesn't want me to have any fun...or rules my life or whatever - which really isn't all that true.

I also tell him he's fat and oily and that I can't stand touching him - yet I don't want to lose him, and I don't mean what I say -

So why do I say it...
Oh, and I tried counting to ten, but it doesn't work....

Re: I am so MEAN!
Jul 15, 2003
I know exactly what some of you are feeling. I don't know why I've been so mean to my fiance. He is so perfect but he smothers me. Recently because of health issues, I had to quit my job. He has been paying my rent, buying me food, make up, clothes etc. All my friends and family tell me how great he is.

However, he sometimes gets on my nerves so bad that I just tell him how I feel not realizing I hurt him. I tell him he is smothering me and need to breathe, he thinks a couple of hours is what i need! Everything about him sometimes bugs me, even his laugh or the way he talks! I just sometimes look at him and find myself not attracted to him. Other times he looks gorgeous, I am not sure if this is normal.

We are planning on getting married in April 2003 and I sometimes wonder if he's the one, Is this normal? We share the same interests, he's funny and treats me like a queen, but smothers me sooo much!! He is kind of like the girl in the relationship, he is very emotional and wants to be with me 24/7, he thinks he will lose me if I go out with my friends and that just bugs, because I don't go out without him and I've never cheated on him. Can anyone please help me too? Thanks!

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