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Personality Disorder Message Board


Personality Disorder Board Index


Trust issues
Apr 9, 2004
I'm not entirely sure if this belongs in here, but...:

I have a semi-annoying problem: I have a very very difficult time trusting anyone 100%, even my boyfriend. But I don't mean trust physically, but I mean I don't feel as if I can trust anyone I know with my secrets. I've always kept my emotions and secrets bottled up inside no matter how huge they are, so I can't open up to people.

Why am I like this? Why can't I trust?


Dark Stranger
Re: Trust issues
Apr 22, 2004
[QUOTE=Dark Stranger]I'm not entirely sure if this belongs in here, but...:

I have a semi-annoying problem: I have a very very difficult time trusting anyone 100%, even my boyfriend. But I don't mean trust physically, but I mean I don't feel as if I can trust anyone I know with my secrets. I've always kept my emotions and secrets bottled up inside no matter how huge they are, so I can't open up to people.

Why am I like this? Why can't I trust?


Dark Stranger[/QUOTE]
Due to midnight board surfing, I'm interjecting a little late :D . I, too, have always been very guarded about any information about myself -- no prior betrayal issues, so I've chalked it up to just being an aspect of my personality. I have difficulties trusting others and I feel uncomfortable sharing personal info with another person -- friend, family, or stranger. I actually feel like I'm being badgered when someone asks me "harmless" personal questions (I'll answer, but it's like, "Why do they want to know that?!" :eek: :confused: ). It just makes me feel vulnerable... I don't have embarrassing secrets, it's more personal thoughts and to a lesser degree, emotions, that I hold back -- partly because I'm afraid that anything I reveal could somehow come back to haunt me one day.

Some of it also has to do with whether people will see me differently. For example, the biggest thing I don't want anyone to know is that I've been struggling with anorexia and exercise issues for almost 10 years -- I know a lot of my secretiveness has to do with concealing the related behaviours and making sure nothing "leaks". But regardless of whatever it is that I'm keeping inside, I just don't feel it's worth explaining as everyone I know seems so much more "normal" than myself. I also don't like having the spotlight on me and feel as though I'm taking up a lot of the other person's time when who knows if they actually care; or how selfish I am to be unloading some thoughts onto someone and making them feel obligated to say/do something; or having to deal with the subsequent awkwardness when someone doesn't understand what I've just said and doesn't know how to respond (eg. maybe it came out the wrong way!).

I am also really reluctant to share good things that happen in my life, like getting accepted into graduate school or being recognized for some achievement. This is partly because I hate getting what I feel is undeserved attention and I don't feel worthy of compliments -- I'll feel the pressure (whether it's actually there or not) to live up to some higher standards. I have tendencies to be a perfectionist and this obviously opens up the possibility of failing, not living up to [I]my[/I] standards.

I think everyone has a bit of self-doubt issues, which is just magnified more in some people. I don't know what kind of secrets you have, but maybe you'll get some insight.





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